My main account is so cursed. Nothing I post gets more than 50 views and it feels so discouraging.
I had a thought of manually removing all the bot and dead accounts from my followers and seeing if that helps
Everyday it feels like I'm just shouting into the void with no response
I don't know why it's so hard to be seen
NGL, today has been a rough mental day...
These last two years have really really started to get to me, and it's starting to feel like my life is hopeless
never give up
I'm actually so pissed at all the tech issues i've had with this computer. How can I tough absolutely nothing and it somehow has a full GPU crash and need a reinstall of it's drivers? Can things please just work?
I just looked at my numbers and uh... wow it's bad.
2024-2025 is just going to be a complete write off for me, idk if I'll ever bounce back but I'm definitely at rock bottom now
I'm not gonna lie, I totally forgot the password for this account and took me forever to reset it, but hi I guess. IDK if anyone sees this or care that my vent account exists
Maybe this is the year I finally accept I have a sleeping disorder and seek medical help for it. I'm tired of not being able to sleep when I need to and having it ruin my energy...
I keep on pretending like it's not bothering me and I am doing great, but this news really has me down and not wanting to do a damn thing anymore.
Hopefully it's just a temporary thing...
IDK what I need to do as a streamer to have an active chat, but I just spent an hour talking to myself without a single chatter.
I asked questions, started conversations, talked my fucking ass off and not a single response. What the fuck???
Had to set boundaries and politely tell a person in my discord to stop DM'ing me over every little thing!!! They of course left the discord soon after...
Why does it feel like every time I need to enforce rules/set boundaries, it just hurts my growth? Can people just be normal?
God, I want to take streaming more seriously.! I don't think I will make it anywhere unless I have an extreme obsession with it, but time and the ability to rest/destress have really been holding me back.
Tonight was extremely slow! I have no problem with bad streams but like, why does it fluctuate by 4 to 5 times the amount? The amount it goes up and down is insane, no consistency.
It's so random and makes me feel like I have zero control over how my streams go.
I got baited into looking at numbers from last night's stream and that was a mistake!! I'm unsubbing from those recap emails, but still, I've been in a MASSIVE slump for a while now and it feels awful.
I truly don't know how to build an audience again, don't know how I even did!
Ok twitter is messing up because I am not even seeing when people follow me anymore. I realized it when maia's alt followed me, which made me really happy, but I HAD NO IDEA!!!! Come on twitter, get it together.
Almost nothing is more annoying to me than when someone tells me I don't need more viewers, when I only have a handful.
YES I DO!!! This is like writing a book and telling me no one needs to read it! A performance that no one watched. I put effort into this! I want to be seen!
I can understand saying this if someone clearly has a big following. But fuck dude, I'm not even a partner.
Hell, if I showed up on my follow list, I would consistently be at the bottom. (Because most people my size usually give up after a while. Why? That shit is not fun)