rita b (@RiteMaria) profile picture

rita b

@RiteMaria

Things make me nervous.

 Minneapolis
Joined July 2009
  • Tweets788
  • Following86
  • Followers266
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Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)Photo by rita b (@RiteMaria)
Thanks, buds!! ❤️❤️ #HUGEleap
okeedokeebros (@OkeeDokeeBros) profile pictureokeedokeebros@OkeeDokeeBros6 Jun 2019
Our favorite improv comedy around, @HUGETheater, is buying a new building! They need space for classrooms, diversity initiatives, and rehearsals. It will be an artist-owned building in an area that is being eaten up by commercial development. Give here: hugetheater.com/donate/hugem…
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Am I a bad parent if I never ever tell her it’s cottage cheese and not “college cheese”?
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IT'S TRUUUUUE
The Mess (@themessimprov) profile pictureThe Mess@themessimprov13 Sep 2018
We have a SHOW TONIGHT at @StrikeTheater!!! 7:30pm. $10. TELL THE WORLD.
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Is popcorn a good bath snack? Follow up: Are bath snacks a thing?
Still unreasonably mad the Target checkout person told me where to put my eggs. #ActualEggs #NotAReproductiveIssue
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Please let it be known that I pulled a muscle pretending to be a whiteboard for too long in a set last night. #veryyoungandphysicallyfit
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My kid is drawing on a chalkboard and her nails are too long and I'm TRYING NOT TO LOSE MY FREAKING MIND. Is it ok to just leave the house?
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My kid just asked if I could invite Obama over for Favorite Friday dinner. Does anyone know how to get a hold of him on such short notice?
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Friends, should I be worried about what's happening at work today?...
Image from rita b (@RiteMaria)
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Well, it's a week later and I'm STILL mad about a guy mansplaining to me a phonetic spelling THAT I WROTE FOR MYSELF. #klaze#clays
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Is avocado on top of a steak quesadilla still considered avocado toast? Just wanna make sure I'm still healthy & cool.
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Unable to pull apart my day-old baguette on my own. Rethinking a gym membership.
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I am so good at normal, non-grotesque characters and relatable storytelling don't be jealous nitter.cf/notmuchfuntoday/status…
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Finally got to a movie last night & had the trailer for It shoved into my eyes and psyche. Blaming @fivemanjob & @ericknobel. Unforgivable.
Kid just yelled "No! You FOOL!" to a piece of plastic stuck to her foot and I'm quitting comedy because she's already 1000x funnier than me
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Replying to @PizzaLuce
@PizzaLuce Hopkins, all I wanted was this today and you just delivered one that was 16 days old. I was determined but it's gross. Heartbreak
Image from rita b (@RiteMaria)
Replying to @SenDeanHeller
@SenDeanHeller, for the love of American children, vote NO on Betsy DeVos!! #swingstate #2018
Replying to @JeffFlake
@JeffFlake, for the love of American children, vote NO on Betsy DeVos!! #swingstate #2018
In all honesty, I'm only on here to keep watching that @Pillsbury vid of the cinnamon roll waffles. Cool, bye.
I get it, body. You're saying, "you need more water!" But all I hear is, "drink more coffee and use lotion."
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