Abraham Jay Simpson

What's happening?

In my day burping was used as money. Burping 12 times in a row got you a free breakfast nitter.cf/Monty_Burns/status/749…

I've been asleep since Valentine's Day!

I got dressed all by myself. I'm done for the day

Can't we cancel the Olympics this year? There's one thing I can't beat... competition.

Spittin' class would be so much easier if my teeth didn't fall out when I spit

Since when was it the 2000s??

Merry Christmas . we're all doomed

.@PrankKingBart hang some bacon on the end of it. You'll be surprised at the results

.@PrankKingBart I used to buy Homer Christmas gifts that he couldn't eat.... or at least I didn't expect him to eat..

That's good eatin

To hell with you I'll eat this emoji if I want 💊💊💊

actually my full name is Abraham Jay Simpson. Says so on my underwear

Death stalks you at every turn

.@YellowMischief I don't remember much but he had a hat like a German dipper. Feathers and everything

.@UncleMoesTavern Still kicking? I ain't no piñata donkey

I go in and out of comas all the--

.@YellowMischief I get a dollar each time I tweet... or that's what they told me...

I'd better sleep on it

what is this thing? we never had this in the war