David (@ActiveTake) header
David (@ActiveTake) profile picture

David

@ActiveTake

Professional shitposter

 Lexington, KY
Joined March 2021
  • Tweets6.2K
  • Following8.6K
  • Followers21.9K
933Media
Photo by David (@ActiveTake)Photo by David (@ActiveTake)Photo by David (@ActiveTake)Photo by David (@ActiveTake)Photo by David (@ActiveTake)Photo by David (@ActiveTake)Photo by David (@ActiveTake)Photo by David (@ActiveTake)
They found Noah’s ark before the Epstein client list
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Free trial ended at 11:59pm. The charge posted at 12:01.
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My dumbass thought this was satire
Breanna Morello (@BreannaMorello) profile pictureBreanna Morello
@BreannaMorello20h
🚨HAPPENING TODAY🚨 President Donald Trump will be hosting a Diwali celebration today at 1:30pm ET in the Oval Office. Shortly after that, he’s heading to Florida.
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Self-checkout said unexpected item in the bagging area. It was the bag.
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The smoke detector waited until 3 a.m. to mention the battery. Had all fucking day.
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Tracking says delivered to my front door. Apparently I live in the vacant house across the street.
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Guy behind me laid on the horn the second the light went green. We both followed the same school bus for the next four miles.
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The water bill can wait. I was craving orange juice.
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Needed a $3.48 washer from Home Depot. Left with $64 of shit that wasn't on the list.
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The work microwave has a sign-up sheet now. Someone wrote "fish" in the 12:15 slot.
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Polls closed last night and I still got a text at 7am asking if I have a plan to vote.
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Oh hey there he is, he looks great
Creature X (@CreatureonX) profile pictureCreature X
@CreatureonXNov 2
He may be old but he still gets excited when seeing his owner.. 🥺
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I've never seen one hit that fast. Is that normal?
AZ Intel (@AZ_Intel_) profile pictureAZ Intel
@AZ_Intel_Nov 1
BREAKING: New footage captures the aircraft crash in Greenacres, Florida. Preliminary information suggests the aircraft that crashed is a business jet.
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Republicans vs Democrats
Oli London (@OliLondonTV) profile pictureOli London
@OliLondonTVOct 31
Actress Chrissy Metz shows off her dramatic 100lbs weight loss after revealing she has been using weight loss injections.
Image from Oli London (@OliLondonTV)
Image from Oli London (@OliLondonTV)
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when you put all your XP into charisma
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Cats meow at us because it hits the same nerve as a baby crying. They’re not bonding. They’re ordering.
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It's more rooting against Vivek than for her
Chris Nelson 🏝️🇺🇸 (@ReOpenChris) profile pictureChris Nelson 🏝️🇺🇸
@ReOpenChrisOct 20
The whole country is rooting for Amy Acton 💙
Image from Chris Nelson 🏝️🇺🇸 (@ReOpenChris)
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Me when I react to panic instead of stopping for 2 seconds to think
Image from David (@ActiveTake)
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"It's water weight from creatine" sent me.
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Put it on the back of my new jersey
Kaida 🌊 (@khaliltooshort) profile pictureKaida 🌊
@khaliltooshortOct 15
We are now calling white people "nillas"
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39 years ago, in the second grade, a girl in the 5th grade said I was cute
Sci Nature News (@SciNatureNews) profile pictureSci Nature News
@SciNatureNewsOct 14
JUST IN🚨: A research reveals that while the human brain can remember insults for 20 years, it can only retain compliments in the mind for about 30 days.
Image from Sci Nature News (@SciNatureNews)
Image from Sci Nature News (@SciNatureNews)
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