Dave Strauss

If anyone needs anything just call me at restaurant or text me if you've got my number. I'm out

I love twitter. Who knew there were so many Chagos Island experts? Some of these guys are totally wasted, unemployed and living with their parents while sitting on total understanding of Immigration, trade, viruses, sovereignty and Arsenal midfield double pivot options

We are looking for a waiter if anyone knows anyone looking. Needs to have patience with old people(me and Henry) and be better than @joewarwick

Best part of every @Ryanair flight is the overhead locker fight

Stanstead airport on a Sunday afternoon. Why do people now dress up for a 2 hour flight to Marbella?

That’s a red card imo. So dim

Kyle Walker will be receiving child support from Gabriel after what he just did to him

Big Day, going to purchase my senior railcard today before Keir makes me wait to 92 to get 30% off.

Morning @joewarwick

Henry seems quite pleased with his latest experiment

At least Tottenham will always have that 2-0 home loss to City to savour. Glory days

Really?

Sad to think that Eric Pickles won't be getting his fuel allowance this year.

⁦@joewarwick⁩ New role model

If the train strikes are over then that's some fucking great news for lots of people who actually have to travel to work or have businesses. Probably the first positive, government inspired,business news since Brexit that I can think of. Anything I forgot?

Just another epic clusterfuck @TLRailUK . Congratulations on the sheer consistency.

Maybe I was just lucky but had a brilliant night out in London yesterday. Football packed with families from all over the world and then Tollington Fishbar just packed with young, cool people. Zero racist cunts

This has got everything for a certain generation. Kits, players, haircuts and weather. 3 months on for UK's hottest ever summer its absolutely polar in Leicester in November. Simpler times

afternoon @joewarwick

Due to no social media in them days I was a Shilton over Clemence guy. I was so wrong, he was such a prick it turned out