Occasional sufferer of moderate Charlie Brown level existential angst. Keen amateur tea drinker. Owner of a rapidly slowing metabolism & perpetually wonky legs.
Joined February 2009
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Look at this lad all covered in latex. Johnny by name, johnny by nature. #strictly
Yer da's face went from magenta pink to to plum when he heard #TheTraitors winnings were going to refugees.๐
The twist in #MillonPoundShot with Bradley Walsh that they're keeping hush-hush is if you don't win a million pounds you are shot Bradley Walsh.
Amazing the number of gammons who are suddenly a regular Ally McBeal of the British legal system, eh?
You're on MasterChef in the bad ol' days and this pair come to see how you're gettin on.
John: What you cooking my n#%a?
Gregg: You wonna see moy winkiee?
#PatrickStewart was class act, man. Nobody else could bring that kinda humanity and gravitas to man exploring the universe in his jammies.
He was the best thing about almost everything he was in. Star Trek, I Claudius, Dune, American Dad, Green Room. All of it. RIP
Fiona Bruce is so bad at this. Her instincts as a moderator are complete pish. #bbcqt
I'm never playing game with James Acaster.
Imagine playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with him and he just sits there, refusing to make his hippo munch, so yours can get all the marbles. Noble? Yes. Fun? Not so much.
#thecelebritytraitorsuk
Imagine Irene Cara & Kenny Loggins had had a baby. That kid woulda been the most 80s child of all time; a synth pop Mozart, born with a full mullet and a cry sounding like a freeform Moog solo.
Andy Dowling ๐บ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ธ retweeted
NEWS! Patriots furious after British justice system applies British laws to British man in Britain newsthump.com/2026/10/28/patโฆ
No way. One of the guys arrested for breaking into that RAF base is a wheelchair user.
Obviously shame on him, but also...good for him? Kinda? Disabled people really can do anything we put our mind to, eh? Up to and including international terrorism. I won't tho, can't be arsed
"You can eat a dick up til you hiccup" is nothing short of Shakespearean. The minute he said I felt my vocabulary leveling up.
Donald Trump is the third fattest President in history. 3rd out of 47. Not bad. Hark at these big American pies.
James Blunt is uniquely shit at this, bless 'im. #TheCelebrityTraitors