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Actress. Writer. Hysterical pragmatist. Hashtagger. Theatre geek. Quote machine. Stable genius.

Punta Gorda, FL
Joined March 2009
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My Mom: I like that actor Tom Hiddleston. What was he in? Me: Taylor Swift for a while.
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Since we're sharing favorite Conan clips...
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HOW in the monkey humping ball sack is Turbo Edition not in the lead?!?
Which episode of Corrections should be submitted for Emmy consideration?
37%E96: Turbo Edition
63%E89: Magic of Corrections
771 votes • Final results
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7-Eleven will be introducing a hot dog flavored sparkling water.
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(14) OAKLAND STUNS (3) KENTUCKY TO ADVANCE 😱 The Golden Grizzlies pull off the shocking upset over the Wildcats 80-76 👏 #MarchMadness
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Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courtney Cox, Matt LeBlanc, and Lisa Kudrow have released a statement about their beloved co-star and friend Matthew Perry: "We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just cast mates. We are a family. There is so much to say, but right now we’re going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss. In time we will say more, as and when we are able. For now, our thoughts and our love are with Matty’s family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world."
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Mowing today. Wish I could bottle the scent
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Oh no. Someone’s been subpoenaed… nitter.cf/mcdonalds/status/16658…
i have suprise on 6/6 txt me 707-932-4826
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Woke up to two feet of water in my basement. Put on a Ben Shapiro video and it dried out in about ten minutes.
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We’ll save you a seat.
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See, you got it backwards? You should have used your hand for the first thing, and insisted the second thing be left to a professional.
A New York fertility doctor who was accused of using his own sperm to impregnate several patients died over the weekend when the hand-built airplane he was in fell apart mid-flight and crashed, authorities say. nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ny-…
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What’s a movie where the cast — even down to one-scene and even one-line day players — was perfectly in sync? Just, everyone got the vibe and knew the assignment? These are my top three:
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This interview should have been named “A Thoughtless Person’s Head,” after the place where it was conceived.
This quoted post is unavailable.
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Ron DeSantis is out here pre-campaigning with some shit that sounds like it came directly out of the @VeepHBO writers’ room. #MakeAmericaFlorida #HowIsThisReal
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"Winn-Dixie": A phrase said often in the south, but never during the Civil War.
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Very curious what critics were expecting from a movie called Nuns on the Run…
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This restaurant offers three spice levels and an alias to use while committing international espionage.
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"We'd like to thank you all for coming tonight... well most of you." nitter.cf/Phil_Lewis_/status/165…
Multiple people who attended the the L.A. Philharmonic concert reported hearing a woman letting out a ‘loud full body orgasm’ during Tchaikovsky’s fifth symphony latimes.com/entertainment-ar… nitter.cf/MacrodosingPod/status/…
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Alright Jeopardy, how many times did Ken have to read "Assizes" before he said it correctly? Be honest.
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