FKA @FATHERMYSTERY / @the_pantheras | Agànjú kìí sọ̀rọ̀ lójoojúmọ́, ṣùgbọ́n tó bá sọ̀rọ̀, ilẹ̀ á gbóná | Facta non verbis describere hominem | Iram silentii tim
Mars
Joined April 2025
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Powerful words!!! Thanks to @thejidetaiwo and @TheLuu01 for bringing them to my attention
And for you people that believe nuclear family means extended families cannot interfere when they see a need to interfere, please answer this question truthfully.
If your daughter marries a man that maltreats her and beats her, will you, as a parent, look away citing "the wife PRIMARILY belongs to her husband and kids" or will you interfere because "the child belongs to the parents"?
If your sister marries a man that maltreats her and beats her, will you, as a sibling, fold your hands cuz "the wife PRIMARILY belong to her husband and kids" or "blood will become thicker than water"?
Since we have all "agreed" that a man belongs PRIMARILY to his wife and children, does that mean that as soon as a man is married, his father should remove him from his will and all inheritance as the man no longer belong to his parent?
Or isn't the man also part of his father's nuclear family?
The challenge we tend to treat ideals as reality and forget roles in real life. What we have in real life is:
1) The child BELONGS to the parents
2) Spouses are PARTNERS - none of them belong to one another. The worst thing is that the "barbaric" practice of the past treats wives as "properties" of the man - I don't subscribe to this school of thought. My belief is that MAN and WOMAN are PARTNERS in the joint venture called marriage and if things don't work out, each party can walk away.
Does adminstration of an estate equal beneficiary of an estate cuz I know a Trust can be established to eben administer an estate?
How many kids deh leave their job and family go deh stay with parents weh deh sick?
Also isn't it because such child knows he also belongs to his parent that made him take up such responsibility?
Man belongs to his wife only but ayou have problem with kids that say that their parents shouldn't use them as their retirement plans as they didn't asked to be brought to this world and they have their own lives to live.
Séríkí Aláṣela | Séríkí Aláṣeyọri | Séríkí Adinni retweeted
The paternal side is expected to take care of the wife and child of their dead son when he dies a poor man.
But when he dies with properties and wealth, the family is expected to stay away from his wife and children.
See!!! We see this happen everyday in the society and those families have taken up such responsibilities many times.
Na when money deh involved, we deh see "I belong to my wife only"
E ku isẹ oo
Wife go born and mama go leave her life go do omugo for months but the man belongs to the wife alone.
If pikin life wan spoil, mama no go sleep again and dem go start to run about to ensure pikin life no spoil but the pikin belongs to his wife alone cuz he don marry.
E ku ise
I no deh argue about this thing again.
Make everyone do wetin favour them
Everyday, we hear cases of mother in-law and wives fighting for control yet you all believe the husband belongs to the wife.
Some of you ladies here will join in calling your brother's wife different names if you discover that your brother doesn't take a decision without the input of his wife.
We see all these things everyday in our society but it is on Twitter you all start creating standards you cannot uphold.
When we are back to the corners of your room and reality hits us, we will tell ourselves the truth.
We can keep up with the online posturing
In real life, we've seen many cases where a man would keep another family outside without the knowledge of his wife yet the details aren't hidden from the extended family.
Yet, we want to believe that the man doesn't belong to the family when he gets married.
Una go leave reality deh set ideal standards weh most of you no deh follow offline.
Séríkí Aláṣela | Séríkí Aláṣeyọri | Séríkí Adinni retweeted
It was on this app some persons said their wives are not members of their family, still same here someone said if his wife is in labour and his friend is involved in an accident, he would be with his friend rather than his wife. So y'all see women as toys and objects of pleasure right?
Amazing
Have you also seen cases where a poor man dies and it was the family (that most people believe shouldn't have a say) that financed and did everything in the burial? In fact this case is more common in our society as we are a poor society.
Everything is not about inheritance, sometimes.
President Buhari wasn't buried in a cemetery. Stella Obasanjo wasn't buried in a cemetery. Abiola Ajimobi wasn't buried in a cemetery.
I know people will argue that the President or the state governor granted the permission. But what I am pointing out is "there is law" and "there is culture". If our lawmakers keep copying laws without considering the cultural context, culture and laws will always conflict and people will brazenly break such laws without any consequences.
This is not a judgement on where to bury Toluwanisings please. It is merely a pointer to why people don't care about the existence of the law quoted.
If they bury Toluwanisings at home, it would be illegal
Any person who without the consent of the President or the State Governor buries or attempts to bury any corpse in any house, building, premises, yard, garden, compound, or within 100 yards of any dwelling house, or in any open space within a township, is guilty of a misdemeanor, liable to 6 months imprisonment.
- Section 246 of the Criminal Code Act (which applies in Southern Nigeria)
Most states have now made their own stricter laws:
Lagos State Law Reform Commission and Public Health Law explicitly says it is an offence to use any residential premises as a morgue, embalmment centre or burial site.
Ekiti State Environmental Health and Sanitation Law No. 21 of 2020, sections 62 and 103: "no person shall be allowed to bury corpse in a residential area other than the designated public or private cemetery." Penalty is N1 million fine or 1 year imprisonment, and the state can order you to exhume.
In Kwara State, burial laws say if a public burial ground has been declared for an area, you cannot bury elsewhere except with written consent of the Local Government Secretary.
Our biggest problem which I have come to notice on this eleyele app is the "problem of linear thinking".
People believe A + B must be equal to C or everything must be in a step-by-step sequence in reality and they apply it strictly to their lives offline.
Lmaoooo
I love when I see people bask in absolute delulu
Guess your society is more advanced than Singaporean society that allows equal split of assets of man between his wife and parents (if they are alive).
Some of you don't just want to accept that things are not linear in reality and linear thinking doesn't solve real life issues.
But your delulu is fine by me sha; it help us enjoy the world.
If you're not senseless, you won't say a husband belongs to the extended family and not his nuclear family.
A husband belongs to his nuclear family (his wife and kids), anything he chooses to do for extended family is a plus to it, and if he dies, everything he owns goes to his family except stated otherwise in his will.
People like you are the ones always causing family feuds everywhere.
You are senseless.
My tweet was to call to general note of issues that cause family fueds in an average Nigerian family. I simply picked that tweet to explain the issues.