📣 Barmy Lord Brockman 🎩 2nd Earl of Mustard

It’s a sign of the times when deleting history is more important than making it !

As I’ll be standing for election in May and my watchword is ‘openness & honesty in public office ‘ - there is something you all need to know about me 👇

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog Brodie — we both laughed at the thought of it .

In a recent YouLoony Poll , the @Official_MRLP discovered that 8 out of 10 people are currently wondering where the other 2 are . #YouLoony

MPs have a total inability to give a meaningful answer to a question, “Do you want fries with that?" would result in "Fries are not the issue here and whether I want them is a matter for me and my party to decide but what we can say is this: our record on fries is second to none”

King Edward II banned MPs from carrying weapons into Parliament. The Statutum de Defensione portandi Arma was signed into law on the 30th October 1313, and it has never been amended or modified. It comes to something when your MP can’t be trusted to wear their sword to work .

Can someone help an old Loony out here ? What’s all this For You or Following all about - do I have to keep switching between the two or is there another way ? . TIA

At the end of the day , MP’s are human to ….it’s during the day that the problem arises .

The damage being done to the Conservative Party by Conservatives is proper loony .

I was in Aldi and I tripped , stumbled and inadvertently stood on a ladies foot . Now this story should end with ‘and we’ve been happily married for 30 years ‘ but it doesn’t , she thought I was trying to rob her purse and told me to F Off !

Upon joining @Official_MRLP , - you will be furnished with a small mirror . If asked to identify yourself , look in the mirror to see if it is you . If you cannot identify yourself , ask someone to see if it is you . If he/she cannot identify you , try again when sober .

We’d like to wish all our Scottish friends a wonderful evening filled with haggis , whisky & wee timorous beasties .

Tribal politics is such an appalling waste of everybody’s time and effort . Both party’s spend an inordinate amount of time trying to prove that the other is unfit for office and both are ultimately proved right .

Lord Rockingham was a prominent Whig grandee and served as Prime Minister of Great Britain between 1765 and 1766 and again in 1782. In 1958 , along with 10 others , he had a hit record with ‘Hoots Mon ‘ . ‘There's a moose loose aboot this hoose"

Less nurses & Doctors. Less police officers. Less armed forces. Less firefighters and yet we seem to have a full compliment of MP’s. So there is one job that seems to be paying ok .