Marc Bolan History

Dear friend (who thinks I’m unkind - or even homophobic), Remember how much we loved Boy George and Marilyn when we were growing up? Our parents weren’t thrilled by men in make-up and dresses - but we thought they were cool. They were expressing individuality and challenging rigid gender stereotypes. You and I both grew up supporting gay rights for a simple reason: people shouldn’t be punished, excluded or shamed for who they love. That belief hasn’t changed. But being gay, lesbian or bisexual is about who you’re attracted to. Gender identity is about how someone understands or describes themselves. Those are not the same thing. And treating them as if they are puts women and girls at risk. Here’s the crucial difference. Many of the pop stars we grew up with played with gender expression - flamboyant clothes, make-up, theatrical performance. David Bowie made a whole art form out of it. But we still understood they were men - and so did they. They weren’t demanding entry to women’s spaces. They weren’t claiming women’s awards or competing in women’s sporting categories. And women weren’t being forced to agree that the man standing in front of them was a woman - or risk social or professional consequences. We both have daughters now - young women just starting their adult lives. I’ve taught mine that no means no and I’m sure you’ve taught yours the same. But that message becomes meaningless if our girls are also being told they must say “yes” to any man who says he’s a woman - even when their instincts say otherwise. If a girl isn’t interested in make-up or stereotypically feminine things, she may be told she’s actually a man - rather than simply a strong, independent young woman who dresses and behaves as she pleases. And if she’s same-sex attracted, she may face pressure from men who identify as “lesbians” and expect access to her spaces - and her body - something we'd never have accepted as progressive or 'kind' when we were younger. Single-sex spaces - toilets, changing rooms, hospital wards, refuges, prisons - exist because women need them. Not because all men are dangerous, but because male violence is a reality and sex-based boundaries reduce risk. Women cannot know which men pose a threat and which don’t. That’s why all must stay out of women's spaces. Good men understand this - without question. I know you want to be kind. So do I. But kindness isn’t asking women and girls to surrender their privacy, dignity or safety in order to prove they’re “tolerant”. Or calling them 'homophobic' or bigoted for saying no. With love, Janet

I didn’t really get the problem with gender ideology at first. I’m liberal-minded about most things. 'Live and let' live has generally been my motto. I believed inclusion mattered. I believed in being kind. In not using language that might upset people unnecessarily. I knew people who identified as transgender. I knew some adults chose medical treatments or surgery to resemble the opposite sex. That seemed to me a matter of personal autonomy. Adults can do what they wish with their own bodies. What I hadn’t realised - and I feel slightly embarrassed admitting this - was that I’d misunderstood what was being claimed. I thought “transgender” meant a form of self-expression. A man who liked wearing women’s clothes. Someone changing their name. Gender non-conformity. What I hadn’t grasped was that some activists weren’t just asking for tolerance. They were asserting that declaring yourself the opposite sex made you the opposite sex. Not metaphorically. Literally. And that this wasn’t just cultural. It had legal consequences. - It meant men who said they were women were demanding access to women’s sports, prisons, domestic violence shelters and hospital wards - It meant the rewriting of healthcare language - “pregnant people”, “bodies with cervixes” - to avoid saying “women” - It meant children struggling with identity being affirmed onto medical pathways with lifelong implications And also redefining same-sex attraction. Lesbians called 'bigoted' for not wanting relationships with men who identify as women. Gay men accused of prejudice for saying they're not attracted to female bodies. None of which made any sense. But I'd also overlooked how far this had travelled - into HR policies, professional bodies, schools, political parties and public institutions. And how easily disagreement was framed as cruelty. Speaking up felt risky - because others were being publicly humiliated for doing so. None of this is abstract. Because sex is the basis on which safeguarding works. On which data is collected. On which cancer screening programmes run. On which fair sport and single-sex spaces depend. It’s written into law - including the Equality Act - because material differences matter. If sex becomes a 'feeling' rather than a biological category, those protections become unstable. And once reality becomes negotiable, everything does. Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. But I needed to be sure. So I read. Books, research papers, policy documents. When I finally spoke publicly, there was backlash from all directions. Many women thanked me - both quietly and publicly. But some feminists criticised me for speaking too late. Others were angry about a past interview I’d done with the parent of a transgender person, accusing me of promoting harm. It takes courage to change your mind publicly. It takes courage to speak when you know your reputation, friendships or livelihood may be on the line - when you know raising your voice could strain, or even end, relationships you value. Once I understood what was at stake, staying silent was no longer an option. I lost my livelihood simply for saying I didn’t like the phrase “pregnant people”. That alone tells you something is deeply wrong. It shouldn’t be this way. I will never judge any woman for when she finds her voice. Because every voice adds value - whenever it is raised. And I know how persuasive this ideology can be. I know how easily it bypassed me. And I know how much courage it takes to admit, publicly, that you got something wrong.