top/bottom discourse is starting to sound like homophobic and misogynistic straight people’s views of gay relationships, just repackaged as a fetish. “My top (man) doesn’t take dick bc that’s the bottom’s (woman’s) role.” it’s fine to have preferences but yall are being gross

Sep 22, 2026 · 3:38 AM UTC

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Yall act like it’s a completely different ship based off sex positions which is insane
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If your top having butt sex ruins the entire fic for you, then stop reading untagged fics. It’s not the author’s job to protect you from the horrors of the “wrong” man bottoming. 😭
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“It’s to self insert” why would you self insert into a gay man if the thought of fucking like a gay man is such a turn off to you? 🤨
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Starting? Lol. Always has been. Why do they think it's acceptable to cry with disgust 20k into a fic because the "wrong" character takes it up the butt and it "changes everything"? This far beyond a simple preference and they've been too comfortable not getting called out.
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I’m mostly in wlw spaces, but seeing the discourse today and finding out some fans entire experience is ruined if the “wrong” man in the mlm ship bottoms has me like… why? If who gets penetrated changes how you view the characters or relationship, you might need to unpack that
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A lot of these people saying 'it's always been tagged!!' have been in fandom for about five minutes, too - no, it hasn't, it comes from very specific contexts.
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You can tell who didn’t start off on Wattpad and fanfiction lol
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People who treat switching like a crime are insufferable, like "you can't argue with my repackaged gender roles"
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yup. all well and good to have a preference i do too but the moment people express visceral disgust and physiological discomfort as their reaction (even if theyre being hyperbolic) to 'wrong' guy bottoming theres no convincing me they dont have homophobia/misogyny to work through
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It's so weird... They tend to forget that it's literally the same characters and that the overall dynamic remains the same. Who tops or bottoms doesn't change their personalities or how they act 😭😭😭 hello
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It’s sounds like they are trying to turn Ao3 into an HOA. “You must include the tags we demand . It’s rude if you don’t . It’s for your own good . That’s how things should be . Why wouldn’t you do it . We will report you if you don’t blah blah
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When you share spaces with straight people who fetishise homosexual relationships and then push their heteronormative and patriarchal views in these spaces, this will forever be a common occurrence.
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Nobody but you said it like this. stop putting words in our fucking mouths. The discourse is about tagging not what was being tagged
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"it's fine to have preferences ". exaactly!! modern discource "everybody switch" starting to sound that if people in the couple have preferences that smth wrong with them and this is heteronormative.
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This is why it's so much better to write mlm and wlw ships as vers. You get the best of both worlds.
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why do people love locking sex positions into character traits 😭 characters being exclusively top or bottom is so boring
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are you new to the yaoi fandom or something? This has been the main criticism of it for decades
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i've been saying this for years tbh i don't think yaoi helps the lgbt community or any kind, like it's just a fetish for het women
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they do it even if its not directly penetration. Eating ass is COMMON PRACTICE during sex between males. I am a gay man myself. It has nothing to do with top/bottom. Ive seen straight people cry and throw up over their “top” getting his ass eaten. get out of my face man
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"starting to" its always been homophobic and misogynistic
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All roads lead back to the man and object mindset
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Oh it's been like that forever, and it's driven me up the wall forever.
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Its always woman saying that shit too
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top/bottom discourse is evil and sinister because why don’t you care about their non-sexual dynamic aka ROMANCE!! seems like yall don’t actually gaf about chemistry or the ship if the main concern is who takes it up the butt
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This is why I really dislike when a ship name is based on who tops/bottoms. Like, who cares??? I like ships for more than their sexual positions 😭.
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True. Using the top for example, it doesnt define the actual limits of said individual top. A top can sub. A top can be given gifts & be sought after. A top is a top even if they bottom 1 out of 100 instances, so on and so forth.
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Idk which fandom you're talking about. But I agree, I also hate the stereotype that all bottoms are super "feminine". I'm tired of seeing sub bottom, I need a dom bottom.
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I can’t take seriously this discourse cuz they always had to apply hetero slop on gay ships. “But x looks like that and x can’t ” okay. Idc at all I’ll read anything, and I prefer soft top since ever but this crowd is crazy.
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This kind of thing makes me nervous to post on Ao3. My ships don’t always fall into neat little categories, they’re kind of a mishmash. I don’t want people to come after me for missing a tag, since it’s not always so objective.
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People who only like strict tops/bottoms often claim tops can’t be penetrated, a highly homophobic take. But it's mostly because BL media is everywhere now. For Gen Z, BL isn't taboo, it’s mainstream. Ironically, this has narrowed their view back into a heteronormative box.
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