𝒸𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓃

“A person not wanting to lose you but not wanting to choose you is the closest thing to hell because they keep enough hope alive to stop you from leaving, but never enough love to make you feel secure.” I never forgot that because it put something into perspective for me. There’s a particular kind of heartbreak in being kept close enough to believe there’s still a chance, but never being given the consistency, commitment or reassurance you need to feel genuinely wanted. They don’t want you gone but they also aren’t making a conscious decision to build something with you. So you end up stuck in between, holding on to potential, interpreting mixed signals and convincing yourself that maybe one day things will change. But being someone’s option, comfort or familiar presence is not the same as being their choice. You deserve more than someone who is afraid to lose access to you. You deserve someone who is intentional about having you in their life.

It’s incredibly selfish to enter someone’s life, recognise how loving, genuine, and full of light they are and then disrupt their peace because you haven’t dealt with your own issues. It’s one thing to be healing, to have fears or to carry wounds from your past. None of us are perfect and we all have things we’re working through. But there’s a difference between being imperfect and making someone else pay for the pain you refuse to confront. You don’t get to seek comfort in someone’s kindness, enjoy the way they love you and then treat their heart carelessly because you don’t know how to handle your own emotions. Someone else’s love is not a place to hide from the work you need to do on yourself. If you have no intention of showing up with honesty, consistency and sincerity, leave people alone. You never know how hard someone has worked to find their peace and you have no right to make them pay for wounds they didn’t cause.