Collin Baker (@CollinBaker) header
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Collin Baker

@CollinBaker

Los Angeles-based writer & stand-up from Maryland. // BLACK LIVES MATTER // he/him // please listen to @bonghitspod

 Boyle Heights, Los Angeles
elysiantheater.com/shows/latenighttokeshow
Joined February 2010
  • Tweets5.3K
  • Following1.8K
  • Followers691
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Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)Photo by Collin Baker (@CollinBaker)
Check out my Gig on Fiverr: I will read and write script coverage for your screenplay! fiverr.com/share/3vW4da
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Those anti-trans ads they’re showing during the World Series are the kinda thing they’ll put in movies 30 years from now to show what a mean, bigoted time 2024 was
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gambling monk, germany, 15th century
a medieval illustration of a monk wearing dark glasses and robes, throwing dice across a table with a devil-may-care look on his face

ALT a medieval illustration of a monk wearing dark glasses and robes, throwing dice across a table with a devil-may-care look on his face

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You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?!?? 😂🤣
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Jumping out of a bush and surprising a motherfucker with the sad opening from Up
Angry Tom (@AngryTomtweets) profile pictureAngry Tom
@AngryTomtweets13 Jan 2024
The world's largest consumer tech event, CES 2024, has come to an end. Here are 10 reveals you don't want to miss from CES 2024 event: 1. Arovia's "SPLAY" is a Mix of a Projector and a Foldable Screen
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Holy crap, we can’t start the year this strong, can we? Is that allowed? Ok, not my department. We’re live! @camirinfarmer @CollinBaker
Image from EverythingNowShow (@everything_now_)
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I don't know if I would characterize this as a "dumb costume" but I guess I had a good time on ENS as always or whatever
EverythingNowShow (@everything_now_) profile pictureEverythingNowShow@everything_now_17 Nov 2023
We put on some dumb costumes and asked our Twitch Chat to draw us 🧑‍🎨 Here are some of the results! Ft. @CollinBaker
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When people spell “yeah” without the ‘h’ like “yea”, I immediately picture them in a pilgrim’s buckled hat at a witch trial
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I gotta get off this app. Y’all are annoying
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I LOVE MY CATS
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That’s right you freaks!
EverythingNowShow (@everything_now_) profile pictureEverythingNowShow@everything_now_2 Sep 2023
September on ENS! Feat. @jamieloftusHELP @joekjoek @camirinfarmer @CollinBaker @cricketarrison @ronlynch1 and many more!
Image from EverythingNowShow (@everything_now_)
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I’m coughing on that grass that’ll make Darth Vader bust out in a beatbox
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I’m wheezin on that good good that killed King Tut
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I’m puffin on that sticky icky that’ll paralyze a moose
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I’m smokin that shit that’ll cure scoliosis
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Long live the Everything Now Show!
EverythingNowShow (@everything_now_) profile pictureEverythingNowShow@everything_now_21 Aug 2023
WOW, our 12 hour marathon went off without a hitch, just 3 casualties. Thank you so much to everyone who stopped by, and huge thanks to @yungelderberry @browncoatgoat friggin' The Whitest Kids U Know and others for bringing their friends to the party <3 we’re eternally thankful
Image from EverythingNowShow (@everything_now_)
Image from EverythingNowShow (@everything_now_)
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I love conspiracy-brain-people who’s imaginations stop at “the deep state is killing and replacing politicians with doppelgangers” because that just seems like the most difficult to pull off, least likely to work conspiracy ever.
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My most pedantic, annoying trait is that I get irrationally annoyed when people mistakenly call joints “blunts”and vice versa. They are two different things!!
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Everybody stealing “deeply unserious person” from Succession as their new fav burn is, in itself, the move of a deeply unserious person.
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Not gonna lie, when someone casually drops “phenotype” it makes me a little uneasy
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🪕😺 🎶 Here's a cat playing a banjo, early-1880s #InternationalCatDay
Image from The Thanatos Archive 💀⚰️ (@ThanatosArchive)
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