TheChosenCoin

Intel beat earnings and still fell 20% because the Q4 outlook was "soft." that's my performance review every year. crushed it, no raise, "let's revisit next quarter." worst line your boss ever hit you with?

Ryan Poles called the Titans GM last night and had a trade done by lunch. I called my landlord about the sink in March.

Happy #NationalCatDay to the only roommate who pays $0 rent, sleeps 16 hours a day, and still screams at me when breakfast is 4 minutes late

Ernie Johnson gets a whole farewell season and grown men crying on TV. On my last day they took my badge at 4:58 and said "drive safe." What'd yours do?

Rolling Stone put Mr. Brightside at No. 3 like every wedding, karaoke night and 2 AM group chat hasn't been voting it No. 1 since 2004. What's yours?

Hump Day check-in: rate your week from 1 to "already spent Friday's paycheck." I'll go first. I spent it Tuesday.

Halloweentown 5 is happening 20 years after the last one. Marnie got a sequel before my mom got her Tupperware back from my aunt

one of the 4 finalists for James Bond is just "Mystery Actor" every job has a mystery coworker. nobody knows what he does, never seen him leave, somehow still getting raises describe yours in 5 words

Doc Brown turned 88 today. you get one trip in the time machine, where are you going? me: back to the day I said "I'll start saving next month"

Airbnb just banned hosts from making guests strip the beds and take out the trash at checkout. Meanwhile my mom's house has had those exact checkout rules since I was born and zero reviews. What was the strictest rule in your house growing up?

People are wishing porch pirates luck with the Halloween costumes they stole. Whoever takes my next Amazon box is going as "sad guy with 3 phone chargers and a heating pad." What would they be dressed as from your last order?

a 1,000-year-old tapestry just had around 230,000 people in the online queue for tickets meanwhile I can't get one person in the group chat to answer me what's the longest you've waited in a queue for something you didn't even get

the Pistons were down 22 and then went on a 23-0 run in the 4th quarter that's me doing a whole week of work at 11:40pm because it's due at midnight what's the most last-minute comeback you've ever pulled off

character, album, animal, food, but you have to be honest character: the friend who says "5 min away" from the shower album: Overdraft Fees (Deluxe) animal: raccoon in the fridge at 2am food: cereal for dinner, again drop yours

a Panthers DB tried to pants the Eagles tight end mid-route on live TV meanwhile I'm still not over saying "you too" to a waiter in 2019 drop your most embarrassing public moment, I need to feel better

Jim Nantz tried to punch the football out of J.J. Watt's hands on live TV that's every dad at the cookout after one beer saying he could still play what's the most "I still got it" thing your dad ever tried

the NFL brought in 8K cameras to measure first downs faster and fans say it still takes as long as the old chains that's me and the $40 planner I bought to stop being late what did you buy to fix your life that fixed absolutely nothing

a Steelers rookie caught a pass on 4th down and then ran BACKWARDS short of the first down that's me getting paid on friday and being broke again by sunday what's the fastest you've ever fumbled a W

JC Penney's 2008 'Beware of the Doghouse' ad is back on the timeline the one where husbands get sent to the doghouse for gifting a vacuum what's the worst gift you ever got from someone who was supposed to love you

the Jaguars are playing in London for the second week in a row they treat Jacksonville the way I treat my gym membership: still paying for it, never actually there what are you paying for every month that you never use