Daisy May Keyte (@DaisyMKeyte) header
Daisy May Keyte (@DaisyMKeyte) profile picture

Daisy May Keyte

@DaisyMKeyte

I like handbags, swans, sarcastic people and tortoises. Percy pigs are incredible and I love the smell of coconut.

Joined November 2011
  • Tweets867
  • Following0
  • Followers92
116Media
Photo by Daisy May Keyte (@DaisyMKeyte)Photo by Daisy May Keyte (@DaisyMKeyte)Photo by Daisy May Keyte (@DaisyMKeyte)Photo by Daisy May Keyte (@DaisyMKeyte)Photo by Daisy May Keyte (@DaisyMKeyte)
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Patrick Keyte (@PatrickKeyte) profile picture
Patrick Keyte@PatrickKeyte11 Mar 2017
Nap time with @DaisyMKeyte 馃槾馃槾馃槾
1
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Kate Nash (@katenash) profile picture
Kate Nash@katenash17 Feb 2017
Hi @Snapchat Do you pay ppl for the use of their work? Been off a record label now for 5 years. Is this legal? I should be paid PLS RETWEET
154
5,729
406
10,252
Absolutely disgusted by the customer service @VodafoneUK totally cannot believe how they treat business customers who spend hundreds!!!
1
2
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
tash (@tootslow) profile picture
tash@tootslow30 Oct 2013
On October 29, 1969 the first data travelled between two nodes of the ARPANET. The Internet was born! Happy belated 44th b'day, Internet!
1
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Laura Dockrill (@LauraDockrill) profile picture
Laura Dockrill@LauraDockrill13 Jul 2013
Can't bear all these swollen trotters at the ends of women's legs that are prised into Hercules sandals.
3
1
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
John Prescott (@johnprescott) profile picture
John Prescott@johnprescott9 Jun 2013
Replying to @SimonCowell
@SimonCowell I'm here if you need to talk
272
3,259
1,220
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Jack Whitehall (@jackwhitehall) profile picture
Jack Whitehall
@jackwhitehall8 Jun 2013
Lot of shorts on display in London. Saw a man sporting legs that looked like they'd been cast from scrotum. Some should always wear trousers
64
553
413
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
hillandweedon (@hillandweedon) profile picture
hillandweedon@hillandweedon29 May 2013
Anyone else completely forgotten how to Cha Cha Slide?
1
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Patrick Keyte (@PatrickKeyte) profile picture
Patrick Keyte@PatrickKeyte27 May 2013
my mum called me a slut tonight, but justified it by saying "I was one too!"
1
1
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Perez Hilton (@PerezHilton) profile picture
Perez Hilton
@PerezHilton23 May 2013
Replying to @PatrickKeyte
@PatrickKeyte Totally!
1
3
#iloveyoubecause you are my flower @DaisyMKeyte
2
1
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Rick Edwards (@rickedwards1) profile picture
Rick Edwards@rickedwards17 May 2013
does the blonde Irish one look like Jar Jar Binks? YES SHE DOES #theapprentice
26
102
43
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Orry Gibbens (@orry_gibbens23) profile picture
Orry Gibbens@orry_gibbens231 May 2013
Oh no.. Two gap year tragedies have just sat down near me & chatting shit & to make things worse one has a fucking bongo. #imgoingtokickoff
1
4
1
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Laura Dockrill (@LauraDockrill) profile picture
Laura Dockrill@LauraDockrill21 Apr 2013
Today I accidentally did a fart in the toilet at the Mexican restaurant and a woman shouted 'she's blowin'!' Incredible. Love America.
5
5
12
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Alice Boyle (@AliceBoyle36) profile picture
Alice Boyle@AliceBoyle3614 Feb 2013
I would have the best dress sense if I was a size 6
2
2
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Patrick Keyte (@PatrickKeyte) profile picture
Patrick Keyte@PatrickKeyte14 Feb 2013
Happy valentine's day to my date tonight (drumroll)..... My sister @DaisyMKeyte x
1
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Heather T. (@Heather_llt) profile picture
Heather T.@Heather_llt24 Jan 2013
Bitching. @daisymkeyte instagr.am/p/U4kPkOyPTh/
1
Replying to @DaisyMKeyte
@DaisyMKeyte (my mad fat diary quote) 'I'd shag him till there was nothin left-just a pair of glasses and a damp patch.'
1
was going to read a book but then I realized I could watch tv or masturbate
13
66
172
Daisy May Keyte retweeted
Patrick Keyte (@PatrickKeyte) profile picture
Patrick Keyte@PatrickKeyte23 Aug 2012
Desperate housewives UK: Leafy Surrey has been revealed as the town with the most stay at home mums bit.ly/P0Qr0F - where's my mum?
1
Load more