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Destry

@DestryBrod

Not quite cool enough to be Canadian.I live close enough to Canada to smell the healthcare. Pretty liberal, pretty democratic not that pretty tho. pro choice.

 Chicago, IL now Michigan
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Joined December 2015
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  • Followers19K
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To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I'm sorry that I asked if he was a rescue. The profanity wasn't necessary but thank you for not siccing him on me.
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Growing up I always wanted to meet the man who met the man who met Andy Griffith. The same man who scored 4 touchdowns in one game to bring Polk high the city championship. Unfortunately when I got the chance I realized he had become a lowly shoe salesman in the Chicago burbs.
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He was a former shell of the man who had married his high-school sweetheart and raised two children on the salary of a women's shoe store sales associate. Here's to you Doctor Foot. Leader of No ma'am.
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I never understood why it said "To be continued" after a two part episode of a sitcom. No shit. That's how shows work. Did people think Just because they didn't wrap it up in a half hour you just had to use your imagination?
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The internet = bringing idiotic thoughts to life since 1983.
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TMZ gets an average of thirty six million visits a month. You'd think with that amount of traffic they could cut down with the pop-ups and spam links that are often impossible not to click. @TMZ your website is awful. Stop being greedy or make it a pay per use site instead.
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but two more years of Trump will surely kill me.
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They should make a comedy about the Trump administration called Orange is the New Awful.
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I remember people telling me I had eidedict memory as a child. It might have been idiotic though now that I'm thinking of it. I just can't remember.
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I could never be an I.V drug user. Not because I'm afraid of needles but because of all the fucking steps involved. Mix shit in a spoon and heat it up and then cotton and a syringe? Fuuuuck that. I'm almost too lazy to smoke pot and you just have to set it on fire and inhale.
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Interrigator: tell us where the bomb is! Me: I'll never tell. Do your worst! Interrogator: ( starts playing any Rush song) Me: it's in a bush near 67th and Austin. If you take 94 south get off on Austin Ave and bear right and there it is. NOW TURN IT OFF!!
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Life is too short to not laugh at jokes that some other people find offensive. If you've been on Twitter long enough you know there's no lack of people who deem everything offensive.
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You'd think at some point the conservative women who still support trump must realize all of the women accusing him of sexual crimes can't all be lying.
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If you put a five dollar bottle of wine in the basement you can add wine cellar in the listing when you sell your house.
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Also, listening to anything I say might land you in prison.
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You don't hear of good old fashioned basement sex dungeons anymore. And that's pretty sad in my opinion.
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Destry retweeted
Nini (@momoftwocats) profile picture
Nini@momoftwocatsOct 25
I’m sorry for every time I should have listened and I didn’t
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If she's really quiet he won't know if she's gone or not. Problem solved.
Image from Destry (@DestryBrod)
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If you eat too much Swiss cheese do you fart in Swiss?
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Only psychopaths put cameras inside their house
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I logged onto facebook on my laptop, ya know like we did in ye olden days.
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