Loki Dog Of Mischief

My Puppy Nearly Ruined The First Day of School The first day of school is one of the most exciting days for students. Though some students lament the end of the summer, many more are bristling with excitement to see what the new year holds. Teachers aren't any different. Good teachers CAN'T wait for school to start and meet their new students. If you are just tuning into this account, my day job is that of a science teacher. It wasn't something I chose from a young age actually, but it was something that I found a passion for, and a job that I spring out of bed to get to. The first day of school I get to meet the students that I will be teaching science to all semester and I want that day to be AMAZING. I'm talking explosions, memes, activities and the promise that science will be FUN. I want kids to rush the next day to get to my class. I want them to be VIBRATING with excitement about science. The night before the first day, despite teaching for years, I can't sleep. It's honestly like Christmas. I think if that feeling ever goes away it's time for me to find something else to do. This startup I had some exciting news for my classes as in the summer we got a puppy. That puppy was the happiest, friendliest, most adorable creature on the planet and we took a ton of photos of him. Some were in my opening presentation. Honestly, I wanted to bring him with me to show everyone like a kid in Kindergarten. Yes, I teach high school, but I guarantee you, it would have added to the best day ever with a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy bumbling about the classroom. Rules being rules, I knew this wasn't allowed. It was going to be rough leaving the puppy at home. Our family spent every single minute during the summer with Bunsen. He came to us after we had grieved the loss of our golden, pulling our family out of a dark cloud and as such we joyfully doted on him for two solid months. In fact, I remember having a major tug at my heart strings as I ironed my dress clothes knowing we were going to be leaving him at home. Don't worry, my father-in-law was going to let him out at noon to run around and do Bunsen stuff and we had worked out a plan for one of us to be home right after school. We didn't want to leave him long in his crate. As I packed my lunch and gathered my school stuff to leave I wanted to give Bunsen one final pet. As I crouched down to give him a scratch, he leapt up at my face. I'm not sure WHAT he was doing. Maybe my tie looked like something to bite. Perhaps he wanted to lick my face. But jump up he did. Bernese Mountain Dogs, they almost always look happy because they are panting to stay cool. This is an important point as when Bunsen jumped up, he did so with a wide open mouth. Another important point, quite literally, is how sharp his puppy teeth were. If you have ever been bitten by puppy teeth you know what I'm talking about. Also, when I say Bunsen was a puppy, what I actually mean is he was a 40 pound Bear Cub. Added to this is he moved freakishly fast for looking like a fuzzy black, white and brown medicine ball. He had been shredding nearly all of my wife's wispy clothes this summer by leaping up at them and raking them with his teeth to which I laughed at. Oh the irony. His front left canine tooth raked my face from just under my left eyeball all the way down to my jawbone. I shrieked. It obviously hurt but my yelping scared Bunsen and he ran away. Apparently his bravery would come in at a later date. Almost immediately it began GUSHING blood. Head wounds bleed a ridiculously large amount of red life juice and if you’ve cut your head know how much blood I'm talking about. I slapped my face to stop the bleeding and it pooled around my hand and dripped all over my previously mentioned freshly ironed dress clothes. Kris came running out of bedroom wondering what had happened and was probably was horrified at the sight. My hand was doing zero to stop the bleed so I got a cloth from the bathroom which quickly became soaked in blood. Kris asked if I was ok and I waved her away as she was also a teacher and she was just about ready to leave for her first day of school. No matter what, I couldn't stop the bleeding. It bled and it bled. Kris suggested I call in sick and go to emerg as she was sure I would need stitches. Time ticked by as I tried ice and other random hopeless things to stop the bleeding. I was now getting within minutes of being late for the first day of school. So yes, I had three terrible options. 1. Go to emergency and get stitches and put my school in real jam finding a sub. 2. Plaster my face with bandages and gauze and hope the bleeding stoped by the time I got to school, but in the process teach like a mummy fresh from the sarcophagus. 3. Use super glue and glue my face back together again. Being an idiot, I decided on option 3. I grabbed the every ready super glue that I always have on hand, cleaned the wound dry as best I could and squeezed a line of super glue down the hand sized mega cut on my face. I pressed my flesh together, counted to sixty and held my breath as I released the pinch. The super glue held. It did look like the one side of my face had shifted left like some kind of impressionist painting and it was causing my eye to squint and burn, but it was holding. I peeled out of my bloodied dress clothes and into another set which was kinda wrinkly. Kris was long gone by this point and she had put Bunsen in his crate. I wasn’t mad at all at him. He looked at me with pity and whined, sad to be trapped in his temporary jail. I told him I loved him and kissed his big marshmallow paws through the grate and I was off. I got to school and my colleagues didn’t say anything about my face out of Canadian politeness, but students don’t have that same social buffer. I had to field some questions from students which may be offensive to post here, but they were just curious questions on what was going on with my pinched and mushed up face. Despite looking worse for wear the lessons of the day went on without a hitch and the students had fun. The biggest lesson though was the one I learned. A puppy has sharp teeth and in an instant it can Harvey Dent your face leaving you bleeding and stunned. Luckily, all I have is a tiny scar under my eye and a great story to tell which my wife bursts out laughing about whenever it’s brought up. Probably karma for laughing at all her shredded wispy clothes from puppy Bunsen’s razor sharp teeth. #dogs