Done With Fine

I'm done with fine.

Pew surveyed 6,204 U.S. adults in Sept 2024. 56% said all-male groups are good for men's well-being. Two-thirds said all-female groups are good for women's. (Pew Research Center, Jan 2025) The men's breakfast, the crew, the Tuesday group. Keep going.

A man is moving his mother into assisted living. His buddy shows up with a dolly and stays all day. He doesn't ask why it's taking so long. "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2) Bring the dolly. Stay till it's done.

A man keeps meaning to call his old roommate, whose wife left in the spring. He figures he'll do it once things calm down at work. "Don't say to your neighbor, 'Go, and come again; tomorrow I will give it to you,' when you have it by you." (Proverbs 3:28) Call him tonight.

Notice the man who signs up for every work day at church: gutters, parking lot, the leaky roof. He'll give you a whole Saturday. Ask him to the men's breakfast and suddenly he's busy. Next work day, ask him to ride along for coffee after. Start there.

Two guys split a firewood order every fall. One has the truck, the other has the splitter. Neither could finish it alone by dark. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor." (Ecclesiastes 4:9) Find the man with the other half of the job.

A man's business folds and he stops coming to poker night. Most of the table figures he needs space. One guy keeps texting him the time and saving him a seat. "A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17) Save him the seat. Keep texting.

Notice the guy at the tailgate who works the grill all afternoon. He's feeding thirty people and hasn't sat down once. The grill gives him a job and a reason to keep his back to the crowd. Take the tongs for ten minutes. Hand him a plate and a chair.

A man's out of work and his kids are eating cereal for dinner. A neighbor drops off chili and bread. No questions. David's friends brought food, "for they said, 'The people are hungry, and weary, and thirsty in the wilderness.'" (2 Samuel 17:29) Don't ask. Bring food.

A man's faith goes shaky after his divorce. He stops going to church, and half his friends act like it's catching. One guy still picks him up for breakfast every Saturday. "To him who is ready to faint, kindness should be shown from his friend." (Job 6:14) Keep the breakfast.

38% of men say they'd be extremely or very likely to turn to a friend for emotional support. For women it's 54%. (Pew Research Center, 2025) Most men have a friend. Fewer of us lean on him. This week, tell one buddy something you'd normally keep to yourself.

A man drops off groceries after his friend's surgery and stays twenty minutes. He doesn't think it was anything. Paul wrote to Philemon, "the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother." (Philemon 1:7) Small visits count. Make one this weekend.

A man's business goes under. Most of the old crew stops calling. One guy shows up at the smaller job and asks where he's needed. Ittai to David on the run: "Whether for death or for life, your servant will be there also." (2 Samuel 15:21) Stay when it costs something.

Notice the man who answers every text in under a minute, as long as it's about logistics. Pickup times, scores, the address. Ask how he's really doing and the reply comes two days later, if it comes. Call him instead. Some men can say it easier than they can type it.

Three men on one block. Each fixes his own fence. They haven't talked in a year. "We are separated on the wall, far from one another. Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally there to us." (Nehemiah 4:19-20) Know who you'd run to. Tell him he can run to you.

A guy on the crew passes his journeyman exam on the third try. Nobody says much. One man buys lunch and tells the whole table. "Exhort one another, and build each other up." (1 Thessalonians 5:11) When a buddy wins, say it out loud.

41% of women say a friend gave them emotional support in the past week. For men it's 21%. (Survey Center on American Life, 2021) Four out of five men went the week without it. Call one buddy tonight. Ask how he's really doing, and wait for the answer.

A man's best friend dies at 52. Twelve years later he still takes the son fishing every opener. David to Jonathan's son: "I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan your father's sake." (2 Samuel 9:7) Keep showing up for your friend's kids.

A man has 600 contacts in his phone. His wife lands in the ER at 2 a.m., and he can't think of one guy to call. "A man of many companions may be ruined, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24) You don't need 600. You need one. Be one.

Notice the man who stays in the garage long after the project is done. He's sweeping a clean floor and sorting screws that are already sorted. The garage is the one room where nobody asks how he's doing. Pull up a bucket, sit down, and ask him.

A man is laid up after back surgery. The first week, a crowd of visitors. By week six, one buddy still comes by on Tuesdays. Near the end of his life, Paul wrote, "Only Luke is with me." (2 Timothy 4:11) Be the one still in the room in week six.