Inspiring author here for the chosen ones. Guiding you through spiritual warfare, addictions & into freedom and purpose
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Joined December 2024
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My new book Before I Sabotage is finally here, and it’s one of the most personal things I’ve ever shared.
I believe my story is worth telling—not for me, but for those who are struggling right now with anxiety, mental illness, and addiction. Too often, addictions like porn are seen only on the surface, when in reality they’re deeply rooted in childhood trauma and wounds we’ve carried for years. It wasn’t until I started healing those hidden places that I could truly begin to break free.
I don’t want others to repeat the same cycles of self-sabotage that I fell into. If my journey can save someone time, pain, or help them feel less alone, then every page was worth writing.
Before I Sabotage is more than a book—it’s a lesson, a warning, and a reminder that healing is possible when we face the real source of our struggles.
Grab your copy down below
amazon.com/dp/B0D3LTS53R
You Say You Want To Stop Watching Porn But You Just Keep Falling Into The Trap.
No Matter How Hard You Try, You Just Go Back
This Is A Pattern That Will Continue To Repeat Itself If You Don't Properly Heal
You Have To Get To The Bottom Of Your Deep Rooted Issue. That Is What You Need To Heal From.
For Me It Was Forgiveness. I Was Angry At The World For All The Pain & Suffering I Went Through
I Brought Others Down With Me
It Wasn't Until I Took A Deep Look In The Mirror & Forgave Everybody Who Mistreated me In Anyway.
Most Importantly, Not Only Did I Have To Forgive The People Who Caused Me Pain, I Also Had To Forgive Myself
Sometimes In Life, All It Takes Is A Change Of Perspective
I wrote Before I Self-Sabotage to help inspire others to change by recognizing the patterns that hold them back and choosing a better path forward.
amazon.com/dp/B0D3LTS53R
For Years And Years I Wasted My Life Being Trapped By Lust
No Matter What Mood I Was In, Porn Was Always There
It Hurt My Relationship With Not Only My Girl But My Son
I Was Selfish And Made It A Priority
It Was So Addicted, I Couldn’t Stop
I Went To Therapy & Realized That This Is A Deep Rooted Issue
I Had To Face My Demons
Once I Got To The Bottom Of That, That’s When I Was Able To Stop
You Need To Heal If You Truly Want To Make Change
Your Addiction Is Selfish
Not Only Are You Hurting Yourself But Your Also Hurting Your Future
Eric Mandry retweeted
Semen retention will vitalise your body, strengthen your willpower, and increase your spiritual sensitivity/awareness - in essence, enhance your aura and cleanse your astral hygiene.
Throughout the world, all the various esoteric traditions were aware of this: the yogis, the Daoists, the tantric practitioners.
There are a few reasons for this:
Your sexual energy is also your life force, it's the fuel to your creativity and willpower.
the yogic perspective sees semen retention as something that transforms life force into ojas aka vital essence to- sharpen the mind, increase your presence, and your spiritual power.
The Daoists conceptualise it as jing, one of the "Three Treasures" (San Bao), alongside Qi (vital energy) and Shen (spirit)
Many Kundalini practitioners encourage semen retention whilst still having sexual intercourse with your partner, especially if they are on a similar spiritual pathway, aka non-ejaculatory orgasms. It is meant to enhance the experience both physically and spiritually.
Semen retention alone is not quite enough.
You need to make sure that you're transmuting the sexual energy through meditation, breathwork and a creative outlet.
This could be anything from drawing, music, writing, dance, carpentry, sculpting, building, cooking, etc.
The energy that you create by transmuting your life force (or, as Jung called it, libido) is then ready and accessible to channel into:
> your work
> your training
> your esoteric practices
> the life you want to build
> the mission that you are embarking on
Nietzsche was well aware of this. As an initiate of many occult and esoteric practices, he understood that abstinence could intensify the feeling of power and fuel the drive to overcome.
Semen retention is one of the best ways to improve your aura aka your electromagnetic field
Kundalini practitioners often practice and speak on this
The reason is prettty simple:
Your semen contains your life force, expelling it drains the aura that is created by both your physical body and your consciousness (both interact with each other)
By retaining it and practicing breathwork you can send the charge it carries in the base of your body up and through your spine, skull, and pineal gland.
This charges and revitalises your cerebrospinal fluid which in turn improves your aura and your sensitivity to the spiritual realm, your internal compass, and your intuition.
God saved me after I destroyed my own life.
A few years ago I went down a path I never thought I’d touch.
Porn.
OnlyFans.
Easy money.
Validation.
Addiction.
I even pulled the woman I love into it. I hated who I was becoming, but the money felt too good to walk away from. It started owning me. I couldn’t stop watching. It damaged our relationship. I was lusting, hiding, living double.
Then it got worse. One of our videos got reposted onto a sketchy streaming site. Our information was found. We were threatened. Blackmailed.
That should’ve been the wake-up call. It wasn’t.
Then a massive hurricane was forecasted — the worst in over 100 years. Something broke inside me. The fear wasn’t normal. It felt like every mistake I’d ever made was crashing down at once. I replayed everything. Every regret. Every way I hurt her. I was drowning in shame.
I convinced myself I was evil. That she’d be better off without me. So I pushed her away on purpose.
I was ready to die.
When I say it felt like demons were battling me, what I really mean is my mind was at war — shame, fear, guilt, panic. It got so intense I started hearing things in my head. I spiraled.
But God intervened.
Not with lightning.
Not with a dramatic miracle.
He intervened by breaking my pride.
By humbling me.
By forcing me to sit in what I had become.
He showed me I wasn’t the devil. I was a broken man who needed help.
Instead of ending my life, I let the experience change me.
I stopped living double.
Stopped sneaking.
Stopped chasing validation.
For the first time in years, I became present.
I’m still not perfect.
Not sinless.
Not flawless.
But I’m at peace.
This is why I wrote my book Before I Self-Sabotage — to show the raw, ugly parts of the journey so other men don’t have to go as far as I did before they turn around. Link below.
If you feel like you’ve gone too far… you haven’t.
If you feel ashamed… you’re not beyond saving.
If you feel like the villain in your own story… you’re human.
And God still wants you.
If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts in the U.S., call or text 988.
If you’re outside the U.S., please check your local crisis resources.
Getting help isn’t weakness.
Rock bottom isn’t always the end.
Sometimes it’s the beginning.
No masks. No fake perfection. Just truth and hope.
amazon.com/dp/B0D3LTS53R
Eric Mandry retweeted
If sperm cells are not ejaculated, they are broken down and reabsorbed by the body within 64 to 74 days.
Once the semen starts being reabsorbed constantly your body starts to heal big time, much less nutrients go to creating semen and your body uses them towards other things. Reproduction is the main function of desire in this body along with food and water, when you go without food or water or sex, out body starts to reform itself to improve and heal whats wrong.
Try to water fast or dry fast also. Thats why retaining past 90 days before looking for benefits is so important.
Eric Mandry retweeted
Social media has poisoned an entire generation. Men are lusting after women they will never have, while women are obsessing over lifestyles they will never afford.
Men are losing attraction to their own wives because they are addicted to looking at other women, while women are losing respect for their husbands because they are constantly comparing their lives to someone else’s luxury.
Ordinary marriages now feel like failures, faithful spouses feel inadequate, and peaceful homes feel like prisons. We have created a generation that confuses lust with love, luxury with happiness, and attention with self-worth. The most disturbing part? People are destroying the beautiful realities they already have because they have become addicted to the artificial lives of complete strangers. Social media isn't just stealing your time anymore. It's teaching you to hate your own life.
Chosen Ones Don't Realize That One Of The Hardest Battles Of Spiritual Warfare That You Have To Face Is The Demon Of Lust
Temptation Is Everywhere & Its All Part Of The Devils Tactics To Keep You In That State Of Frequency
Too Many Men Out There Are Wasting Their Lives Away Fapping To Pixels On A Screen
That Dopamine Rush You Get From All That Eye Candy Is Just Setting You Up For Failure
You Need To Use Your Time Wisely
Trust Me, I Know From Experience. I Wasted My Life Away Being Addicted To Porn & My Relationships Suffered Because Of It
It's Important To Take A Look In The Mirror & See The Damage Your Addiction Is Causing. Not Only To You But Your Loved Ones As Well
Lust is one of the hardest battles to defeat
But once you conquer that, you can conquer anything
Trust and believe. I let it take over my life completely and it destroyed me. Don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made
It’s Never To Late To Follow Your Dreams
God Is On Your Side, It’s All Going To Happen.
Have Faith 🙏
There comes a time and point where you just get fed up and you just can't keep living the way you are anymore
I'm at that point now. I refuse to give up
The devil tried everything he had but I'm still here. Never lose hope. There is always light at the end of the tunnel
God saved me after I destroyed my own life.
A few years ago I went down a path I never thought I’d touch.
Porn.
OnlyFans.
Easy money.
Validation.
Addiction.
I even pulled the woman I love into it.
I hated who I was becoming, but the money felt too good to walk away from. It started owning me. I couldn’t stop watching. It damaged our relationship. I was lusting, hiding, living double.
Then it got worse.
One of our videos got reposted onto a sketchy streaming site. Our information was found. We were threatened. Blackmailed.
That should’ve been the wake-up call. It wasn’t.
Then a massive hurricane was forecasted — the worst in over 100 years. Something broke inside me. The fear wasn’t normal. It felt like every mistake I’d ever made was crashing down at once. I replayed everything. Every regret. Every way I hurt her. I was drowning in shame.
I convinced myself I was evil. That she’d be better off without me. So I pushed her away on purpose.
I was ready to die.
When I say it felt like demons were battling me, what I really mean is my mind was at war — shame, fear, guilt, panic. It got so intense I started hearing things in my head. I spiraled.
But God intervened.
Not with lightning.
Not with a dramatic miracle.
He intervened by breaking my pride.
By humbling me.
By forcing me to sit in what I had become.
He showed me I wasn’t the devil. I was a broken man who needed help.
Instead of ending my life, I let the experience change me.
I stopped living double.
Stopped sneaking.
Stopped chasing validation.
For the first time in years, I became present.
I’m still not perfect.
Not sinless.
Not flawless.
But I’m at peace.
This is why I wrote my book Before I Self-Sabotage — to show the raw, ugly parts of the journey so other men don’t have to go as far as I did before they turn around. The link is down below.
If you feel like you’ve gone too far… you haven’t.
If you feel ashamed… you’re not beyond saving.
If you feel like the villain in your own story… you’re human.
And God still wants you.
If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts in the U.S., call or text 988.
If you’re outside the U.S., please check your local crisis resources.
Getting help isn’t weakness.
Rock bottom isn’t always the end.
Sometimes it’s the beginning.
No masks. No fake perfection. Just truth and hope.
amazon.com/dp/B0D3LTS53R
Learning to trust God through the suffering is the hardest part but holding onto that faith is well worth it.
It will Ultimely bring you out of that darkness
The Devil Tried To Break You.
He Even Sent A Whole Team Your Way
But You Didn't Fold
You Became Wiser
They Had To Team Up, Just To Go Against You & Your Still Here Stronger Than Ever
Thats More Proof Of The Power Of God!
You Didn't Let That Break You
You Let It Refine You
Eric Mandry retweeted
THE KING IS BACK!!!!! KNICKS WIN!!!! #NewYorkForever