FREAM ✦ HAND INJURY ARC PT 2

The barista scoffed, “Your rainbow magic has no power here, traveler.” She took a step forward with a ladle, winding her arm up for an attack, when she yelps and falls over. “Ow, what the fuck? Who the fuck is hiding under the counter?” A small orange man crawls out from under, rubbing his hairy head. “Oh sorry Fream, you know me, always looking for a good show to watch ehe.” “EWWWW why are you jacking it under the counter again, Lorax???” “I can’t help it, I love listening to your mean bitching and yelling, it really gets me going. I’m the Lorax, I stroke for the trees!” The small orange creature screams valiantly. Sasuke activates his sharingan, immediately killing him. “Noooooo Sasuke, yamete!!!!” Naruto cries. But it’s too late, the orange creature has turned into a ball of hair. 

A single tear rolled down Naruto’s cheek as he stared at what remained of both his twink boyfriend and the lorax. An announcement roars through the parking lot as if recess from elementary was done “Pumpkin’s Mom is CANCER FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”. We all celebrate. Except for Fream, she hates the gays. 

Suddenly, the front doors flew open. Everyone gasped. Standing dramatically in the Starbucks doorway was Bao. 
“Did somebody order a grande WOMAN!?” she announced
“No,”Sasuke said. 
Bao ignored him. She strutted toward the counter, but instead of wearing shoes like a normal fucking person, slapped her bare feet against the Starbucks tile. 

SLAP. SLAP. SLAP. SLAP. Naruto growled…it seems that something was happening to him. Was that…a tail? “Naruto, hold it in, you can’t transform inside of a Starbucks.” But it was too late, the 9 tailed fox was threatening to escape from the blonde boy’s bellybutton. “Must….sniff…….feet…..” Naruto growled under his breath. “Everyone, get back, he’s about to go BEAST MODE.” “KACHOW!” Naruto screamed for no discernible reason. 

“That’s MY fucking line,” Lightning growled. The car and the furry then began to duke it out, right in the middle of the Starbucks queue. Drinks and orange tinted “whip cream” flew everywhere, nearby bystanders ducking and screaming to avoid the onslaught of dairy drinks. Since Bao was barefoot, she immediately slipped on a puddle of caramel latte, the sounds of Looney Tunes tripping sfx filled the air, unceremoniously, going on for much longer than one would think for slipping on a puddle. The chaos seemed to reach a fever pitch, when an explosion rocked the establishment. Like a scene from the famous Koolaid commercial, a round large blue figure stepped through the broken cement hole. “B….B…..Berry….”. It was none other than the infamous Baoberry. There was nothing quite like it. The incredibly large creature rubbed its round blue belly, slapping it with enough force to break the sound barrier. This could not be good. Suddenly, a small voice could be heard from across the rubble. “Umm…..I’m here for a pick up order for Pumpkin Potion?” The small monochrome Door Dasher stood at the drive thru window, waiting for a response. Her timing could not be worse, as the Baoberry turned its head and locked eyes with the petite black and white girl. Oh no.
“B….Berry…?” It was too late. The Baoberry had found its new target. Stomping over with the weight of ten thousand semi trucks, the Baoberry made its way to the door dasher, picked her up, and in one horrific motion, inhaled her. “PUMPKIN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” The homophobic barista cried. Everyone looked in horror as the door dasher’s outline could be seen through the belly of the beast. “Masaka…” Sasuke exhaled. “This is not what God intended.” Pastor Griffin said with a sad face. It was joever. Written by Uncle Pussy Berry, NarutoAndSteveNotAdamAndEve, Dick Thrustwell, Esq. III

Tags: Omegaverse, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, Monster Fucker, Major Character Death, Furry, Hole Mates, Switch, Gaping, Fisting, Voyeurism, Selfcest, Vore, Cucking, BDSM, Public, Multiverse, Mentions of The Bibble, Homophobia Mention, Economics, Feet, Blood Mention, Biting, Period Mention, Hugging, Vampire, Masks, Wax Play, Food Play, 

Characters: The Lorax, The Onceler, Asexual Goku, Mothman, Huggy Wuggy, Rick Sanchez, Gaston, The Scrooge McDuck, The Baoberry, Fream, Pumpkin, Duolingo Owl, Clippy, Reader, Y/N, HeroBrine, Dream, The Deep, Syndrome, Megalovania Sans, Lightning McQueen, The Bishop, The Aglet, Waluigi, Pregnant Link, The Third Goomba From Mario Kart, Phoenix Wright, Handsome/Gamma Jack, Samurai Jack, The Talking Dog From Up (Doug), Cooking Mama, NaruSasu, Gojo x Sonic, PS2 Kratos, VanillaMace, Springtrap, Skibidi Toilet, 67, Gordon Ramsey x Guy Fieri x Sephiroth, Peter Griffin, Major Armstrong, Master Hand Smash Author’s Notes: Oh my god thank you for reading!!! I’m only 2 chapters in, I hope to finish it!!! I’m a recovering homophobe, so I hope this fic helps heal a part of myself.  Last updated: 9/11/2001 “Hey, you can’t order here! We don’t like your kind!” The blue and pink haired demon said. The two ninjas looked at each other sadly. They couldn’t believe that in the year of 2026, they could not peacefully order a pumpkin spice latte. They stared incredulously at the pink and blue haired demon. “We don’t want any trouble, dattebayo, we’ll just take our psl and go…” The blonde ninja spoke solemnly. “NARUTO!!! Don’t let this bigoted freak tell you what you can’t and can’t do. You are the hokage, stand up for yourself!!!” The emo ninja roared. But what could they do? The line behind them grew restless, the work rush had begun and it seemed that the narrowminded demon girl would not budge until they left the establishment. “Can’t you read the sign???” she then points to a sign that says. “We have the right to refuse service to anybody.” Begrudgingly, Sasuke lead Naruto’s hand out the door and into the parking lot. It seems they would not get their delicious fall treat today. Just then, a loud revving sound pierced their ears and a red blur passed them, screaming, “KACHOW!!!”. Was that….Lightning McQueen….and why is he in a leather gimp suit???? “Why the long faces guys?” Naruto and Sasuke relayed the troublesome experience at the homophobic Starbucks. “You guys must so exhausted, tired even. I can’t help but notice you two holding hands…you must WHEELY be good friends…” Naruto and Sasuke rolled their eyes. “I think you’re cruising for a bruising” Sasuke growled. The Alpha was on his haunches immediately, Naruto struggling to hold him back. “Sasuke….not here okay….? You promised….”
 Then the sound of a womping tuba finally arrived to put a stop to the homophobic shenanigans. He had just left the starbucks and had been protesting loudly outside the main door… when suddenly the incredibly cherry hot paintjob of Lightning McQueen caught his burly attention.  “Excuse me, my good men and carpart…. Have you experienced an injustice at this establishment?” Naruto, Sasuke, and Lightning McQueen all turned their heads. How did this large white man know of what had just went down during their lunch break? “This won’t do…..we should all live in peace and harmony, otherwise we will be subjected to complete utter damnation. The Rapture is coming and we must prepare, no matter who you choose to love. I’m sure I can change that barista’s mind. Also I am a psychic, that’s why I know that it was a barista that berated you.” The large woke youth pastor lead the charge as they re-entered the coffee shop. “Great, looks like the peanut gallery is back with what looks to be a bigger zest fest.” The mean barista retorted. “Now, now, there’s no need to resort to name calling. We should all pray together and beg for Jesus’ forgiveness. And you young lady, could listen to Same Love by Macklemore sometime.”