J Oicalap

His rough, calloused hands cup your face so you can’t hide the bleary tears from free falling down your cheeks. “You promise you still like me even though I don’t have a blowhole?” You asked in between sniffles and hiccups. “Y-yes Bao, I like you even though you don’t have a blowhole.” Rick kisses your forehead and wraps his arms around you. He smells like whiskey, metal, and home. “Can you still howl when you’re close?” Rick groans. “Yeah, I can still urrpp-h-howl. Now let’s get you untangled and do something about this disgusting cum cocoon. Jesus Christ, do all e-girls live like this? I can smell just about 20 different mold species just standing here.” You never could have imagined that your tier 3 sub Discord mod e-boyfriend vr chat ERP werewolf partner would turn out to be a 70 year old mad scientist who can portal travel. But damn were you glad… “Rick?” “Yes sweetheart?” “We….we can still do that thing we’re always talking about doing.” “Aww h-hell yeah eUURRP!” Rick takes out a snorkel mask and pulls it over his face before lifting you up princess style. Maybe it’s okay to be yourself so the people looking for you can find you.

“Are you disappointed?” “N-no sweetheart, not all at, I eeuurrghh-promise…..it’s just….” “Different?” “Yeah, just urrp-different.” My eyes betray me and tears immediately blur my vision. Rick has only known me as my whale vtuber persona for the past 6 years. I was too shy to show him my real face. He’s always been there for me, my only constant. It’s hard to believe he was once just a tier 3 sub. When you’re a vtuber, you don’t ask your regulars where their mysterious source of income comes from. Bad etiquette. But when you saw that Discord notification, “xxXPu55ySlay3RickXxx” you were intrigued to see someone was brave enough to send a friend request at all. It wasn’t long until game nights turned into VR chat dates and sleep calls…you’d be lying if there wasn’t a few ERP sessions here and there. Audio only of course. “You know, bleeuurrgh, this could all be real.” “What do you mean?” “Why hop vr chat worlds when we can hop real eeurrgh-worl-worlds? I’m sure there’s plenty of dimensions where you’re the most uurrp-beautiful whale girl in the world.” Your gaze falls to your hands and you swallow down a tinge of anxiety. You became a faceless content creator because you didn’t have the confidence to turn on the camera. Reality has always been disappointing…and you’re sure you were no different. “Haha, stop joking around,” you jest. “I’m not.” An awkward silence falls between the two of you. “What if I’m…not exactly what you imagined?” “Let’s find out.” With a beep, he goes offline, leaving you in the cozy vr chat world all alone. You were just about to message him and ask where he went when a bright green light seeps into the corners of your headset. Startled, you rip it off your head and spin your head around. You think you finally caught a bad case of Tetris Effect after spending so long playing vr chat, but it’s real. Shades of brilliant green, swirling and emanating distorted magnetic interference. A….portal? A leg emerges, then another—someone is trying to enter your room. Your fight or flight kicks in and you scramble to hide in your closet, but the goddamn stupid fucking vr chat headset wires tangle around your ankles. To your frustration, the more you try to untangle yourself, the more stuck you become. You think fast and blindly start throwing everything within arms reach towards the intruder. “Ow-ow-c-cut it out!!!” You hesitate before hurling your rose toy. It’s a good thing you didn’t—you needed it for later. That voice was….familiar. You steel yourself for what you’re about to see and slowly lift your gaze. He’s very tall. Lanky. Mostly legs. Pale blue spiky hair and strong eyebrows. His face is scrunched into a scowl while he rubs his bruised bald spot. He’s obviously much older, but handsome, in a tired, worn down kind of way. A weathered, hand bound book. A well loved leather jacket. “Your vpn sucks by the eurrpp-way.” “R-Rick…?” “Yep, in the flesh. F-figured showing you was easier than explaining.” He leans down, inches from your face. His hand gently lifts a tress of your hair. It’s difficult to guess what he’s thinking. “Y-you’re not actually a whale…huh.” “And you’re not actually a werewolf…” “Well euuurrgh-urrp-I am one in the sheets that’s for sure. Honestly the ERP was so good I was beginning to believe you were actually a whale girl. I even brought scuba gear just in case we wanted to try that thing we’ve always been talking about.” “Are you disappointed?” “N-no sweetheart, not all at, I eeuurrghh-promise…..it’s just….” “Different?” “Yeah, just urrp-different.” Your heart sank into your stomach and might as well have fallen out your asshole. You knew it…fantasy was always going to better than reality. You silently curse yourself for believing NordVPN actually worked, tears welling up in your eyes. “D-different, but good. Y-you’re still eeurgh-urpp you…you’re still my Bao. My Bao The Whale.”

I Became a Disney Adult ✨

Being falsely accused of rape because you think it’s bad the president raped children

MAGA, you owe me an apology.

“Dean deserves this because the Left has also platformed false allegations.” If your response to false allegations is to manufacture and spread your own, you haven’t defeated the standard, you’ve legitimized it. Sure, you might torture Dean for a few weeks. But when the same tactic is inevitably turned against the Right, you’ve forfeited any principled argument against it. You don’t win a culture war by adopting the behavior you spent years condemning.

Right wing twitter has decided to peddle a false rape allegation against me all over the time line. This allegation originates from a FAKE TikTok account named “Emily”, this account stole the identity of a minor from Australia to pretend to be a girl. MAGA knows NO low.

Recession indicator

I Tried Disneyland Pizza…💀

THE BAO EMPIRE IS FALLING! SINDER WON!!