Xanda🏳️‍🌈

Gay men have all experienced that moment when a straight man is being unusually nice and you have to remind your brain to behave.

Some gay people don’t have the luxury of being spontaneous about their private lives. Before a date, a trip or even a photograph, they have to consider who might see it, what might be inferred and whether the consequences are worth it. Safety can turn ordinary living into risk assessment.

Gay men who grew up without seeing themselves represented in movies really deserve compensation. We were out here creating entire personalities from supporting characters.

Being gay in a family WhatsApp group is an interesting experience. Everybody is discussing marriage, somebody is sharing a wedding invitation, your aunt is asking who is next, and you’re there contributing to the conversation like a man with a five-year plan. 😭

One of the quiet tragedies of growing up gay is learning to observe yourself through other people's eyes before learning to experience yourself through your own.

Being a gay man is so funny because why did I just see a man with nice hands and start imagining how he’d look holding my waist at our wedding? 😭😭 SIR, YOU HAVEN’T EVEN HELD MY ATTENTION FOR 5 MINUTES.

Sometimes, internalised homophobia doesn't look like hating gay people. It looks like needing everyone to know that you're not like those gay people. Prejudice can survive in the language of personal preference when the real discomfort is with femininity or visibility.

There is nothing inherently degrading about a sexual role. The degradation begins when people assume that what someone enjoys sexually determines how much respect they deserve outside the bedroom.