Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz) header
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Speed to the Spoil. Word to your Mother. Destruction is imminent.

Zion
Joined November 2021
Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)Photo by Mahershalalhashbozy (@Hashboz)
9 yo graffiti in my scriptures. Love it. #dadtwitter
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One second too long paired with a deep undeviating stare into the eyes, followed by a slow silky release
How long should a handshake last?
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So true
Got a blue check so imma bout to become unbearable
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*Apostrophe’s count
Whore, and who're. Apostraphes count.
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Please for the love of all that is holy. Please stop misusing “begs the question” You can just say “raises the question” like a normal people have done for centuries. This is a bina fide prima facie
Watching 1986 Care Bears with my daughter and they’re celebrating Thanksgiving. Which begs the question: in the Care Bear universe, were there Care Bear pilgrims? Is there a movement to educate people on Care Bear colonization and elevate Indigenous Care Bears?
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That’s me in the costume!
Such a great LA Kings game with @Hashboz
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It’s happening. It’s really happening
You don’t have to feel this way. Call me.
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No thanks! So messy
Olive trees are beautiful, timeless, and top-tier. They’re a great investment in both the short and long term. We should be buying land filled with olive trees.
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Plus, you have to dung them, prune them, graft them, dig them…
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We’re so back
American pastor and prophetess go viral for introducing new wife to congregation and announcing polygynous marriage with female church member Called it the 'will of God' LifeWorks Church's Prophet Israel Ford cited Exodus 21:10 to argue that limits on one wife are unbiblical
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People are catching on
I really hate to say it but men having 2 wives makes sense in 2026 Women are sharing men in major cities anyways. Women only want 1-2 kids Women want to work and have kids Couples can’t afford houses (3 incomes) There’s going to be such a surplus of single women that I predict this will be normal in a decade
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If you’re a white single mid male, why aren’t you in Japan right now?
HOW TO GET A JAPANESE GF: 1. Be white.
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Some say it is not modest for me to go out in public
Modesty is in the eye of the beholder.
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This is cool
Scripture study can help heal you physically. And the Book of Mormon in particular is so powerful that even infants respond to it. 🤯Those are two mind-blowing nuggets I've found in my study about scripture study. These statements come from two great confidence talks-- one from Elder Scott and one from Elder @BednarDavidA in the early 2010s. Give them a read. I don't think they are suggesting any weird magical, metaphysical phenomenon is going on. Yet it's also clear the the practice of immersing ourselves in the word of God has a much deeper impact on our souls than merely communicating information to our minds. True, sincere study changes the very desires of our hearts, alters the capacities of our spirits, and even blesses our bodies and our children. churchofjesuschrist.org/stud… churchofjesuschrist.org/stud…
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If I had a dollar for every time I got the giggles during an endowment session…
Three women or maybe two started laughing in the celestial room.
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There was one point me and my cousin had to agree to not go to the temple together anymore because something hilarious would happen every time and we’d lose it.
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Should I?
why don’t you start an onlyfans?
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I dunno I just learned there’s hospital patient porn. 🫠🤮☠️ So there’s probably a kink for that too. 🤷
Because no one wants to pay money to watch videos of a fully-clothed 43-year-old woman ranting about the overuse of flat Log color grading in modern cinema.
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His defense in his Mormon tribunal: I only mouthed it. I didn’t actually say it!
🚨🚨BREAKING🚨🚨 BYU fans are calling for the team to SUSPEND QB Bear Bachmeier after he was caught swearing on national television. Bachmeier appeared to say “HOLY SH*T” during the game. BYU has a strict honor code, which prohibits profane language.
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Kinda like when I flipped off my friend in elementary school, but by lifting my ring finger.
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