Gym Ratatouille

Thats why I listen to WW2 white noise. No surprises

Using a website through my phone “Hey, we have a shitty mobile app that has a whopping 2 useful functions. Would you rather use that!?” Fuck no

The office cast spending actual days working in a real office to understand the environment was the first step towards the fielder method

As a society we gotta stop getting baited by bot accounts so easily. New formula rn is posting shitty messaging screen so the comments get flooded with people calling them out for being the real problem

I think of the “I’m da kind of da highway” tweet everytime I’m on the road

Sorry kitten (talking to myself), we have to go without our sweet treats (white monsters) for a while now, gas prices are too high

Going to start doing a litmus test on all my first dates where I show them “who’s on first” and ask them to explain the joke

If I ever get in a car accident it’ll be because I was fucking around with Spotify

Sticking my tongue into my monster can to get the last few drops like a humming bird drinking the sweet nectar from a flower

NOTRE LAME

GET FUCKED NOTRE DAME

A bunch of sad sad people in the comments here that hate themselves so much that they have to think this is some sort of moral injustice they’re “fighting”, when in reality they do worse things every day than something as meaningless as letting a cat outside for a little bit

If everyone was me deboarding the entire plane would take 6 minutes