Jason Gotlieb

In Greece if you cut a tomato you can smell it across the street

Gonna start sagging my pants and showing ass

New year new toothbrush

Call me William Carlos Williams I just ate a plum

Eventually we will all be sunken with the titanic

Been texting with my bodega guy

If you’re gonna bred something stop fucking around and make a sandwich

the difference between an omelette and a scramble is I can't fit enough stuff in the omelette so it ends up all scrambled

let’s go Knicks

This is what the onion volcano has come to I’m done

Too drunk to swipe

I’ve never had a bad meal in my life

But all my weed from the farmer’s market

I really just wanna eat pasta

If I had a big company I’d layoff everyone I hate my coworkers

there's a madonna tour now?

Can’t go outside today bc all my shorts are in storage

They should put pillows in those reclining imax seats so you can nap during their boring ass movies

If you cant finish something just say to be continued at the end and run away