Joe Stanley

He probably should’ve stopped talking after “not today.” Joliet police responded to a Best Buy after employees recognized a man suspected of taking a laptop worth more than $900 the day before. When officers asked if he had taken anything, his answer was: “Not today.” He then insisted he hadn’t even been inside that Best Buy earlier in the week. Small problem. Police reviewed the store surveillance. According to the encounter, the footage showed the same Nissan he said nobody else drove pulling into the parking lot… followed by a man wearing the same distinctive hoodie and shoes walking inside. That’s when his memory suddenly became the issue. He claimed he had “short-term memory loss.” Officers weren’t buying it - especially after he had just remembered his car, his job, where he bought his tablet and exactly what he paid for it. Eventually, he admitted he had lied because he was trying to stay out of trouble. Then came one more problem: He told officers the missing laptop had already been pawned. Police arrested him on a felony retail theft charge. He was later released with a notice to appear. Returning to the same store was bold. Returning in the same vehicle while apparently wearing the same outfit? That’s a level of confidence even “short-term memory” couldn’t explain.