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today in therapy my therapist said i need to stop using humor to defend myself and i LITERALLY DABBED ON HER WHY AM I LIKE THIS
jordan lilaπ retweeted
βkill them with kindnessβ WRONG!!!! LIZARD ATTACK π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦
jordan lilaπ retweeted
the only lasting 9/11 memory i have is when the budweiser ad with the kneeling clydesdales came on during the super bowl and i said "those horses are praying to mecca" and my friend's uncle got so mad that he had to go in the backyard
jordan lilaπ retweeted
Iβm ngl itβs genuinely moving to me that this guyβs special interest is trying to understand what makes the human body function at its best and he loves this woman so much that he is hell bent on trying to solve a medical issue that has never had the proper resources or attention
Kateβs period will start any minute nowβ¦.
Iβve been waiting for 34 days.
This is historic; the most measured menstrual cycle in history.
What weβve measured so far:
> 408 min of brain data
> 10k blood glucose readings
> 48,960 core body temp readings
> 136 photos of her body
> much more.. see below
In total, 14 million data points.
Full list of what weβre measuring:
> core body temp via ingested pill
> pain threshold
> grip strength
> photograph of the body
> body thermal temperature
> blood pressure
> weighing menstrual blood
> cortisol
> blood glucose
> DNA methylation
> oral microbiome
> stool microbiome
> urine metabolites for hormones
> stool microbiome
> vaginal microbiome
> cervical mucus
> sleep
> wearable
> resting metabolic rate
> metabolism.
> techno-tampon, for lady boners
> reaction time
> skin biological age
> brain with Kernel
> breast measurement
> urine concentration
> hormone concentration
> weight
> nutrition
proud of @_katetolo for becoming the world's most measured woman
jordan lilaπ retweeted
white people be like letβs go get drunk at a brewery with all of our small children and let them run around everywhere
jordan lilaπ retweeted
weβre all obligated to be endlessly kind, grow a big rack, and be big ol freaks in honor of them both
jordan lilaπ retweeted
rest in peace tim curry, thank you for making barbie villains so menacing and fun
jordan lilaπ retweeted
"omg haha did you know the guy who plays orpheus in the hadestown recording was in the spider-man musical???" do not cite the deep magic to me, witch. i was there when it was written
jordan lilaπ retweeted
feeling anxious at a social event. gonna pick at my cuticles. surely i will not rip off too much skin, thus causing me to awkwardly hold a blood-soaked tissue to my thumb for the remainder of the event. surely i have learned my lesson by now.































