Kat Nove 🇺🇦 🌻

Chaos as art. Perfection

Hi, My Name Is Gandalv, and I Have Trump Derangement Syndrome. It started innocently enough. Someone announced that a 50 percent tariff on imported goods would be paid by the exporting country, and I opened my mouth and said that this is not how tariffs work, that the American importer pays it at the border and passes it on to the American consumer, and that a president who does this is essentially fining his own voters for shopping. The reply came within seconds. TDS. That was the diagnosis. Not an argument, just three letters and a shrug, the way a doctor might say “terminal” and leave the room. So I have decided to stop hiding. I am standing up in the church basement with the bad coffee and the folding chairs, and I am saying it out loud. I have Trump Derangement Syndrome, and the first step is admitting that you find the following things deranged. I find it deranged that a man imposed tariffs on Heard Island, a territory inhabited exclusively by penguins, and then explained the formula on a cardboard chart in the Rose Garden. I find it deranged that he wanted to buy Greenland, threatened to take it anyway, and then acted surprised that Denmark, a NATO ally that lost soldiers in Afghanistan on America’s behalf, was not flattered. I find it deranged that Canada, the country that shares a continent, a hockey rivalry and a nine thousand kilometre undefended border with the United States, was told it should be the 51st state, and that this was meant as a compliment. I find it deranged that a hurricane forecast was corrected with a Sharpie, that disinfectant was floated as an internal remedy on live television, that windmills were accused of causing cancer, and that the Gulf of Mexico was renamed. I find it deranged that the men who beat police officers with flagpoles on January 6th were pardoned as patriots, that the Defense Secretary posted strike timings in a group chat that happened to include a journalist, and that a foreign government offered a 400 million dollar aircraft and the answer was not no. I find it deranged that the East Wing of the White House was demolished for a ballroom, that Zelensky was shouted at in the Oval Office for not saying thank you enough, and that NATO allies were told their protection is conditional while the actual adversary was told he was doing a great job. And yes, I find it deranged that all of this is defended by people who will pay more for their groceries, their cars and their phones as a direct result, and who will call you sick for noticing. Here is the thing about TDS. The symptoms are reading, remembering and doing arithmetic. There is no known cure, and frankly none of us are looking for one. So if you have ever winced at a tariff, sighed at a Sharpie or asked what exactly the penguins did wrong, you belong here. You do not need to whisper. You do not need to hide behind a burner account. Come out of the closet. There are more of us than you think, we are not ashamed, and we saved you a folding chair. Proud TDS sufferers, welcome home. Stay deranged, Follow Gandalv @Microinteracti1

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