Ken | Mental & Perf Coach

I studied human behavior for many years and this mentality is what most limits growth in a person more than anything else. It's called 'association'. Where someone can't do or be something else without believing it needs to be associated to someone/something else. Relationships become codependent to the point where you feel you can't go out with friends without feeling like the other person should be there. Or, you set that expectation socially so friends begin to ASK where your partner is if they aren't with you. Then all of a sudden it feels 'weird' to go out for coffee or with your friends without them. Then at some point you don't really know what a normal day looks like if they aren't in it. Your identity isn't YOURS anymore, it's 'ours'. In criminology it is extremely common for offenders to say that they "don't know any different" etc. In order to give that individual a chance to 'be their own person' it is imperative they work to remove associations that limit their own agency. It should NEVER feel weird to go an adventure that you want, by yourself or without an association. Even if it's just to go for coffee or a hike or some hobby that makes you happy. The moment you can't do A without B, you know that life has become conditional, rather than YOUR life. May they enjoy finding themselves and seeing what that looks like without the guilty feeling of association. (Association is important in creating bonds, but when it limits agency and individuality it becomes almost a condition of daily life and is not healthy)