UFC Lemon of War 🍋🏝

When a homie needs to ratio someone

Just slapped my little brother, took his bowl of candy, and locked him in his room. Going to get drunk and delete his Minecraft worlds

Dog pussy is the best

Every 6 months a couple of Jon Jones’ opponents get together and argue about who he beat worse

Wow! Looks like Merab hit a wall? The walls I touch are empowering! Use code MOSSAD to get a free pager with eligible bets on Polymarket!

Petr Yan calling out King Kong is such a low move because there’s no way he can make 135

This shit is downright preposterous

Lot of brave fighters on the card tonight, but none braver than the men and women of the IDF! Use code NETANYAHU to get 2x your winnings today only on Draft Kings!

Holy fuck Dominick Reyes

White Boy STUNS Muslim audience by getting SPLIT DECISION WIN in Abu Dhabi against a Russian Muslim

When will Israel’s first UFC event take place???

Just say Hasbulla in the background and now I need a new TV

Fuck it. Gay Hunter Campbell

I once ran into Luke Thomas in a seedy DC bar. I told him I recognized him and that I watched MMA and by our fifth drink he wouldn’t stop insisting that Jon Jones has to have a third arm. He kept saying that “shit he does isn’t possible, he’s hiding it somewhere” and I tried to tell him the cameras would’ve caught it or that he wouldn’t pass medical. Dude wouldn’t budge at all. “You think they could get past USADA but don’t have the technology to sneak another arm in the octagon?” He gave me a small gold coin with his bald head on it before he slipped into a limo and that’s the only thing I have to prove that this interaction happened

Getting a vr headset and mechanical fleshlight for GTA VI. Don’t text

Me when Tabatha Ricci is getting into the octagon

My dick got bigger and then started lifting weights after I drank the McGregor energy drink

Me when I’m watching a movie with my aunt and she says “go lock the door”

Jarvis, buy tickets to the next Sophie Cunningham game and buy 6 inch heel lifts. Expedite delivery

“No more leg injuries, right Conor? Right???” Conor:

Welp!