IamtheBrainwasher

So I guess I know another style of massage I wasn’t aware of because I had a client yesterday asked me not to do anything Swiss. I think they meant Swedish, but that was a first.

Did you know that the best time for a soda can to explode in your refrigerator is when you are in bed?

Up at 5am working on the ole To Do List: washing bedroom curtains

oh no why am i seeing ads for black friday already!

All of the election spam text I'm getting are addressed to Andrew and I am not him

Well, I didn’t even know that was possible, but I somehow spilled cottage cheese on the kitchen rug

Today’s meal planning is brought to you by ‘fuck it, We are just gonna eat cornbread.’

the moon is made of cheese 🧀

Welcome to Monday where everyone is stupid and so am I

I do work today but I think maybe 4am is the new normal for me

Today’s ear worm - "Pop a Percocet" by Bankhead

It’s only 3 and I’m already amused to be off today

shibboleth is any linguistic feature—specifically a word, phrase, or pronunciation—that acts as an indicator of a person's social, regional, or cultural identity. It is used by an "in-group" to instantly identify whether an outsider belongs to their group.

I’m sorry, but I can’t be responsible for the violence I commit against spiders if they are going to keep sneaking up on me.

I don’t like when books have really obvious redundancies in them. Like if somebody gets a tattoo, you don’t have to tell me it’s on their skin because the odds of it being on their eyeball while possible are pretty slim.