Liquid Gooner

RAY PARLOUR MADE ONE JOKE ABOUT GARETH SOUTHGATE. A FEW WEEKS LATER, HE WAS TRAINING WITH THE RESERVES AND HEADING OUT OF MIDDLESBROUGH. 😭😂 When Gareth Southgate took charge of Middlesbrough in the summer of 2006, Ray Parlour had already spent two years playing alongside him. Steve McClaren had left for the England job, meaning Southgate was suddenly moving from teammate to manager. At one of his first meetings with the club staff, he wanted to establish the new order. Everyone gathered in the video room, with Parlour sitting at the back beside coach Steve Harrison and Lee Cattermole. Southgate stood up and addressed the room. “Right, I’m the boss now. I’m the gaffer.” “I know it’s going to be awkward for a lot of you, but I don’t want you to call me Gate any more.” “I won’t hold it against you if you call me Gareth, but from now on I want you to call me Boss or Gaffer.” Parlour listened to his former teammate laying down the rules before throwing in his own suggestion. “What about Big Nose?” The room went silent. Steve Harrison burst out laughing, while Lee Cattermole gave Parlour a pinch. Southgate ignored the joke and continued his speech about taking Middlesbrough forward. Parlour thought nothing of it. But soon afterwards, he was left out of first-team training and sent to work with the reserves. At 33, after winning three Premier League titles and playing under George Graham and Arsène Wenger at Arsenal, he was suddenly training with the youngsters. It went on for some time until he was selected for a reserve match away to Blackburn on a Tuesday night. Parlour decided to take it seriously. “Food, rest, everything.” On the coach journey, he was already trying to fire up the younger players. “Right, lads, you up for today?” They couldn't understand why a 33-year-old with his experience was so excited about a reserve fixture. “Jesus, he’s up for it!” Despite the pouring rain, Parlour threw himself into the game, making tackles, creating chances and encouraging the youngsters. Middlesbrough won 3-2. Malcolm Crosby, who had been sent to watch the match, reported back to Southgate that Parlour had been different class. With the first team struggling, Parlour expected to be back training with them the next morning. But after returning from Blackburn in the early hours, he was told: “You are still in the reserves.” Parlour had had enough. “Right, I’m leaving.” With six months remaining on his contract, Middlesbrough agreed to pay him three months' wages and let him go. Within a month of that meeting, he was back on the A1 with his belongings and a removal van. He never knew for certain whether his joke about Southgate had played a part in his treatment. “Maybe the ‘Big Nose’ thing was the last nail in the coffin for me.” “I thought he would laugh.” “He obviously didn’t.”

PAULO FUTRE REFUSED TO PLAY FOR WEST HAM BECAUSE THEY GAVE HIM THE WRONG SHIRT NUMBER. 😭😂 In 1996, Harry Redknapp thought he had pulled off an unbelievable signing. Futre had won the European Cup with Porto, starred for Atlético Madrid and had just been at AC Milan. Even as injuries began catching up with him, his talent was so obvious that Redknapp later claimed training would practically stop just to watch him take free-kicks. Then came West Ham’s opening game of the season against Arsenal at Highbury. Around 45 minutes before kick-off, Redknapp was told there was a problem. Futre had been handed his West Ham shirt. Number 16. He immediately threw it back. “Futre 10, not 16.” He began listing some of football’s greatest No.10s. "Eusébio, Maradona and Pelé....10!" "Futre, 10!" Redknapp tried explaining that the squad numbers had already been allocated. Futre didn't care. He refused to wear number 16. Redknapp eventually told him that if he wasn't going to get changed, he could leave. So Futre put his suit back on and stormed out of Highbury before the match had even started. 😂 West Ham were left explaining why a player already named on their teamsheet had suddenly disappeared. They lost 2–0. But Futre wasn't finished. He wanted that No.10 shirt. There was just one problem: it already belonged to John Moncur. According to Redknapp, West Ham even tried telling Futre that so many No.16 replica shirts had already been sold that changing his number would be impossible. Futre reportedly offered to cover the cost, with Redknapp recalling that he was willing to spend as much as £100,000 to get his preferred number. Eventually, he found a much cheaper solution. Futre owned a villa in the Algarve overlooking a golf course. And Moncur loved golf. So Futre offered him the use of his villa in exchange for one thing… The No.10 shirt. 😭😂 Moncur agreed. And Paulo Futre finally got his number. Imagine risking your West Ham debut against Arsenal over a shirt number, then negotiating a villa deal with your own teammate to get it! 💀