Dr. Lisa Julian

There are largely two types of academics: A and B. Their worlds are so different, so insular they don't even know the other type exists. Type A: > Comes from a middle, upper-middle class family > Well-educated parents (with advanced degrees including PhDs) > Parents map out their kid's career trajectory > Parents teach academia's hidden curriculum: applications, admission essays, extracurriculars, and so on. > Send the kid to a "good" school (private or private tutoring) > Kid gets good grades > Goes to Ivy League or Oxbridge or a similar top school for undergrad > Decides to do a PhD > Gets into another top program in a top school because of top undergrad school, duh > Gets a well-connected supervisor during PhD > Gets a tenure-track job offer from another top university in the final year of PhD even before graduation because of the supervisor, duh > Fully understands the tenure clock > Publishes papers, monographs on time > Gets tenure > Thinks PhD is easy, tenure is easy, academia is easy > Marries a colleague in the same university > Has kids > The cycle repeats Type B: > Comes from a dysfunctional, working-class family > Parents who barely graduate high school > Parents with no idea what kind of education their kids need > Goes to a no-name shit school with underqualified teachers > Then goes to a community college or some such institution if lucky, joins the military if unlucky (KIA.exe) > Reads a lot, become autodidact, becomes a half-decent writer > Someone suggests, do a PhD, become a professor > Likes the idea of academic life, starts applying to PhD programs > Gets rejected from top programs because don't have good recommendation letters or connections > Goes to a third tier PhD program in a university located in the middle of nowhere > PhD stipend is not enough, has to work part-time to make ends meet > Lives in a shitty apartment, sometimes eats at the soup kitchen > Still works hard and publishes a bunch of papers > Thinks I'll write my way out of poverty > Sees a bunch of Type A PhDs in conferences, tries to "network" with them, Type A folks recognize Type B PhDs and stay away from them. > Defends PhD where the committee says this is excellent work and imminently publishable > Applies to tenure-track jobs left, right, and center. Gets rejected from everywhere > Idea of being unemployed with a PhD causes desperation > Gets a temporary teaching job, gets paid per course basis with no health benefits > Spends a few years as adjunct with semester to semester renewal of job contract > Barely survives, has to take up part-time jobs > Get a one-year postdoc, decides to turn PhD dissertation into a monograph in the hopes it will get tenure-track job > Postdoc ends, back to temporary adjunct jobs > Monograph stays incompelete, no time to work on it > Tries moving out of academia, is considered over-qualified > Reads social media posts by Type A academics saying PhD is easy, academia is easy > Thinks, what could I have done better?