𝐿𝑜𝑜𝓃𝒾𝑒⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚ 

TW ⚠️: Su***de / false 🍇 accusations / venting I want to discuss a situation that still affects me. A while back, I was accused of things I didn’t do, and the claims spread online, turned people against me, and reached my family. It caused me so much stress, paranoia, and pain that it became the worst thing I ever experienced. Ive been suffering. My Discord the day i left was filled with hateful comments telling me to off myself, that I needed to die, and other insults. Claims spread all over online, and friends I knew turned against me. What was I supposed to do? I felt helpless. I ran away. I locked down all my accounts and ran entirely from the internet. I was terrified that starting a new account would bring the mob back to find me and drag me deeper into that mental abyss. I stayed in hiding, too afraid to contact anyone online. I even had nightmares about my old friends and other people finding and hurting me. When my family was contacted about it by her that same day, It stressed my sister out so much, she literally cried, and my brother, basically the leading figure in my family, told me some very damaging things. My own family had this idea of me in their heads now, and I could do nothing… During the year long isolation I went through, it caused me extreme suicidal ideation. I would walk the top of buildings, like parking garages, and even save photos and recordings of them while trying to mentally strengthen myself to eventually… jump. I hoped the recordings could hold the same tension/feeling as being there while I was away. I wrote many fictional death stories to cope, and I hid behind a fake persona I made from my comfort characters. I had multiple ways to try and cope while isolated. I had a document with my side of the story, but it took me so long to finish because of the stress and anxiety. Writing and gathering evidence for my side made me stressed, and the anxiety sometimes felt like physical pain in my chest and made it hard to breathe. Eventually, I started feeling calmer and realized I could actually prove my side. The things I had tried to tell people before my profiles were deleted were easier to prove than I once thought. That whole situation and everyone dogpiling me drove me away from even trying to defend myself for nearly a year. It was painful as hell, and I didn’t even want to remember any of it because I was trying to cope and not feel the pain. During that isolation I became incredibly lonely and desperate for connection. I deeply missed my old friends, so nearly a year later i tried to come back, although at first it was only to Discord. I didn’t have my document yet, so people were still calling me those things and upset.. Months later from then, I finally published my document. I was told it packed a punch. People started seeing the lies in her story, along with the evidence showing the claims against me were false and she was the one who done what she claimed I did in her own story. People apologized and started coming around and talking to me again. Even though people now know the truth, it still hurt. It left a scar. My friends notice that it still has a grip on me. They see my paranoia, stress, and the way I vent, and they can connect what I go through sometimes to what she did. What happened cost me a lot: friends, relationships, my mental health.. Im doing much better today tho. The suicidal thoughts are pretty much gone because of my friends and my boyfriend. But… sometimes those old feelings still come back for my current relationship and make me overthink or become paranoid, but my boyfriend reassures me and helps me out of those negative thoughts. I just wish the thoughts/feelings would vanish permanently.. But they wont. Its a deep scar. And i hate that so much. It has helped me to finally vent about this. I’m glad I can share it so people can understand this and how it still affects me. I’m grateful for all my followers and friends. I care so much about y’all.

They will remember for the rest of their lives

Blue fits and bad moods.💙 #Characterdesign #furry #Artcommunity #bunnyfurry

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