M.T Chair esq

Well I think that cleared everything up There was no party but they are investigating that there was no party and if anyone was caught having a party when there wasn’t one then they will be disciplined To be fair Boris is not well known for clarity…or indeed truth #PMQs

I would like to category state I was not at the #downingstreetparty I was invited in case anyone wanted to play musical chairs but Mark Francois required my assistance in reaching the mince pies from the bottom shelf

It’s is untrue that at the #downingstreetparty that - Matt Hancock hung around the mistletoe - Sajid Javid complained he got the Hi-De-Hi novelty version of Operation & not the original - Dominic Raab kept sending people to jail in Monopoly

There I was thinking I can enjoy retirement and I’m called upon because no Minister wants to turn up on #BBCBreakfast & #GMB Anyway my statement is it wasn’t a party cos we didn’t play Twister You can quote me on that #downingstreetparty

After #BorisSpeech clarifying some stuff ( thanks to @superfurry ) #StayHome #StayAlert

For legal reasons I am obliged to say that I’m not an Amazon delivery box with eyes drawn on it. People can look the same alright I’m always confusing Anton DuBec with Rob Brydon

#Quarantine Quiz Where is Gern? Bonus Points - How can felt tips bring down an aeroplane? #IsolationLife

Good to see my cousins ‘The Beds’ stepping up to help join the fight against the coronavirus

Show your appreciation for those on the front line of all this

Social Distancing is very important and everyone should be doing it. Stay Home. And while you’re all at home we can contemplate how it’s possible to only infect .625 of a human

In the time of social distancing and isolation the Chair has returned from semi retirement Has much been going on? #NewProfilePic

23.01 - so what happens now? #Brexit #BrexitCelebration

Elon gets it

̶C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶m̶a̶s̶ ̶E̶v̶e̶ ̶ ̶C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶m̶a̶s̶ ̶D̶a̶y̶ ̶ ̶B̶o̶x̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶D̶a̶y̶ ̶ Happy Whatever Day Of The Week It Is Day

Wishing you and your family a very Merry and Peaceful Christmas

I read the hashtag #thankyourianjohnson as Thank Your Ian Johnson. But I don’t know an Ian Johnson but if I did I would thank him

Tis the season of goodwill to all And to show that I would like to put aside the rivalry and sincerely wish a very Merry Christmas to @JamesCleverly Have a good one Clevers

For those wondering about #CATSmovie this is the only tweet you need It sums up the thoughts of about 95% of the audience who will go and see it

Seriously considering throwing my hat into the ring for the #LabourLeadershipElection Zac Goldsmith taught me you don’t have to be popular with people or actually even be voted in by them to reach the higher echelons of Government That’s a lesson for us all

I wouldn’t have quite phrased it quite like that