fentanyl crimes 2 electric boogaloo

I know this is a little out of the blue, but there's something I was meaning to say for quite some time but I didn't have the courage since this will bring things back. English isn't my 1st language but I just want to express how I feel with my own words. I want to make this public since It all started in public as well. Sinder if you ever get this message, I'm so sorry for all I caused to you, to your image, to your mental, friends I caused you to lose, opportunities I destroyed and everything else that I can't even imagine I could have caused you. I know what I caused to you is irreversible and there's no way things will be the same as it was before. I know you really cared about me and yet I doubted you, hurt you, accused you of things I didn't understand and didn't talk to you properly all because i was immature and stupid. I still think til this day, why I did that and yet I don't know how to answer that myself. I really wanted to tell you Sinder that I blame myself for all that happened, I should never have gone public, never defame you of stupid things i thought i knew, hurt you, not properly communicating with you like a decent human. I try to leave this memory behind but the guilty just lives there deep in my heart and I really wanted to tell you I'm so sorry.