I truly hope CNN, Politico and MS Now sue the shit out of the White House and take their case all the way to the Supreme Court. I'm watching the 4:15P POTUS news conference and he's completely lost it. It's one lie after another. This is so scary.

Can someone please tell Republicans...bragging about your ICE raids right now is not a winning strategy. 🙄

You know you hit middle age when you tell someone you spent the day hugging a toilet and they assumed you're painting a bathroom. And they're right. 🙄

Since the White House is the people's house, if my name is not put on the new gold-plated ballroom I'm going to get it ripped down.

Nothing screams "shit" louder than when I look down during morning coffee and notice I have to cut my fingernails today.

I'm watching the news, and I see the average price of gas is up to $4.44 a gallon. This is too much for me, like way too much. And I 100% blame POTUS for this and every politician and American who supports him.

Only a twink would bring a hair brush to the beach. 🤣 🤣 🤣

I can't afford to pay for the gas, to drive to the grocery store to buy food that I can't afford. Is America great yet? This seems to be taking a long time. 😡

How would a universal AI kill switch work? Would it turn off the internet? That's not going to work. How are guys supposed to get their porn. 🤔

I hope there's no limit on the number of assholes I can block on Twitter. There's a lot around here.

I'm pretty sure if my spam email were true and I bought all those vitamins, my penis would be the size of a whale by now. 🙄

I saw the first house in my neighborhood with Halloween decorations. It's a little soon.

Great quarterback. Horrible TV football commentator. I will probably projectile vomit before the season is over if I have to hear one of his super bowl stories again. 🤮

Serious Question. Are there people in this world that really have an elongated ass? I have elongated toilets in my house and I swear, sometimes I have to hang on for dear life or I'll fall in. 😱

My grandfather clock stopped at 8:05A this morning for no apparent reason and it's creeping the shit out of me. 😱

Serious Comment. So, Mitch is out of rehab and might be back to the Senate on Monday. I never agreed with his politics. But let's please remember, an older person might be frail but that doesn't mean his brain is. For most of us, the body goes way before the mind.

Ever notice, guys get an incredible need to rearrange their balls as soon as the camera starts recording. Amazing. 🤔

Who's been MIA longer, Mitch or Melania? I have no idea. It's close.

Note to Twitter AI software, I don't care where Mitch McConnell is. He's Kentucky's problem, not mine. I live in South Carolina. We got our own shit to deal with down here. Thank you in advance for your immediate attention to this matter, Mike

My integrity is worth a hell of a lot more than $5,000