Hi, I'm you're new neighbor from California! My cosmopolitan life was getting too hectic so I thought I'd try something more quaint, and your rustic town SPOKE to me. I'm so excited to be part of OUR community!

"Which floor do you live on?" The 69 floor. "Your building has 69 floors?!" No, it doesn't. You'll know it when you see it.

I am a far right extremist shootsman who takes the right to keep and bear arms for hunting very seriously. After deep consideration, I have decided to sit out this election because of gas prices to fill up my hybrid pickup. The values I care about most like AR rifles and bigotry will be best preserved by 4 or even 8 years of progressive Democrat governance, not by Drumph who hasn't done enough. If you look at the evidence, you will surely agree with me.

Perfect, flawless phone app that does some minor specific task exceedingly well. "Oh, my phone installed an update." App completely changed: UI infinitely worse, watch an ad to use, "AI powered!" Many such cases.

This is just the basic stuff Californians have to say to avoid bigotry from jealous provincial locals when we charitably buy their homes. We call it code switching.

Trump: passes Roko's basilisk, is virtually reincarnated as president of the future. Newsom: FAILS Roko's basilisk, his virtual reincarnation is forced to drop out of the 2028 presidential race and watch kamala lose twice... Forever.

Deny this problem all you like, rethuglicans, but the fact is I can buy an AR assault weapon type rifle of war right now, on craigslist, in CALIFORNIA.

The perfect watch being designed by and for Donald Trump hit the watch industry so hard they've been pumping out absurd Atari 2600 spaceship looking watches ever since. There's a direct line between the flawless Trump Tourbillon and Rolex panicking and releasing the landdweller.

Everyone should read this slate article about how radically anti-safety the Supreme Court has become in gun cases, and become as knowledgable as I am on the topic of guns. The headline picture of this AR-15 assault rifle made me shudder.

Lots of people on the ignorant MAGA right the past few days denying subcontinental indians provide Americans with any benefit, as if we don't have a brief generational opportunity right now to farm engagement $ by complimenting India, the 21st century's super power of the future!

Liberal bay area tech bros in panic today realizing Roko's basilisk is going to recreate a virtual Donal Trump as the eternal president of the future now.

Lazy and uncreative right wing Americans love complain how immigrants get near limitless welfare that comes out of American pockets. News flash: just rent a 2 bedroom home to 15 of them for $500/month each and that money comes right back to you and then some! But yeah, that's why there are so many trash bags lined up in the driveway suddenly, neighbor. If you're looking to sell, let me know. I have to factor in the state of the house next to you when I make an offer though.

As a first generation Texasan myself (bought a home in Austin this year to vrbo) I'm proud to see so many excited young Texers who've been livin here more semesters than I can count celebratin the ol' Long Horns scoring first wicket!

Was watching some awkward french guy's YouTube channel about the history of various hats and I ran out of hats I care about, so watched history of the baseball hat. His seething euro shitlibbery hilariously crept in when he used a picture of a Biden in a ball cap to say "in recent years even the president of the United States has been seen wearing a baseball cap in a suit". C'mon guy, you could have said nothing but if you want to bring up "history of baseball caps as relates to American presidents wearing them in a suit", it's more embarrassing for you not to show Trump than to just choke on his name saying it haha

Hunter Biden was endorsed as honest by no less than 51 former intelligence officials, that's pretty much the gold standard of integrity! I'm baffled and shocked he rug pulled me on what I thought was an exclusive investment opportunity I was chosen for. I'm reeling right now.

I believe the mere threat of the Green New Deal was enough to convince the weather the behave better, actually.

A friend asked, "What do you think about AOC's odds in the next presidential election?" I regretted to inform him how I see her odds. Pros for her: -she's "good looking but not hot", hitting that sweet spot where women like her but won't hate her by default. -she's a brown shade of ethnic which is closing in on a requirement for libs now. Cons for her: -she's absolutely an idiot. She's only in office because she's a literal fake puppet candidate who can't be unseated from a safe district, and she's too dumb to get through a real campaign. Even Newsom in his diminished 300 likes on X has-been state can probably crush her. -she's suddenly baby crazy and her looks are in rapid decline, so she's going to start posting embarrassing Nancy Mace thot videos with increasing frequencny and risks becoming a joke to younger women. (Don't feel bad AOC, it happens to the best of us). -Her recent posting reveals she nearly kamala bad at appearing genuine in fake social media TikTok length "interviews" and she's rapidly going to morph from "trendy young empowered AOC" to "cringe haggard millenial AOC posting 'Pokémon GO to the polls' videos" that will fail to capture enough energy from young chick voters who grew up on social media, unlike the aging (elderly) AOC, a dinosaur millenial. TLDR: Trump will call her Fat AOC or something and her campaign will fall apart in two weeks.

I'm not though. I feel defeated after watching their win after win after win. I put all my hope in Graham Platner and California high speed rail, and they've both imploded while Trump soars above us like an eagle. Like so many other Democrats, I'm too exhausted to vote again.

This looks kind of shit cropped for enjoying on a 9x16 vertical phone. The director should have taken the time frame his shots better.