Nine41

They're here. The vanguard has breached the border. 🚗 I clocked two scouts today. One Ohio plate, one New Jersey, both driving compact crossovers like they were transporting open containers of nitroglycerin. Both completely solo. Both wearing the angry lesbian haircut. Both white-knuckling the steering wheel at ten and two, seat cranked so high their noses were pressed against the windshield, sporting a face diaper worn exclusively as a chin strap. Paranoid, terrified, driving 38 in the passing lane, mapping out the terrain for the next six months of seasonal invasion. Word is the Canadians are boycotting us this year. A tragedy. Truly heartbroken that we might miss out on seventy-year-old men walking the shoreline in black dress socks and orthopedic sandals. A devastating loss for local culture. 🏖️ Now, how do we get the rest of the eastern seaboard to join that boycott? What kind of billboard campaign do we need to fund to convince New York, New Jersey, and Ohio that our air is toxic to anyone who complains about humidity? If you are going to migrate down here to escape the taxes you voted for, at least attempt field camouflage. Sitting alone in a sealed Lesbaru with a paper mask pulled under your nostrils is pure comedy. What exactly are you filtering out? The cabin air filter is doing all the heavy lifting. The only biohazard in that vehicle is your own driving ability. Forget the mask, put on a helmet and a drool cup, because that is where the real damage is coming from. 🪖 At this point the mask is just decorative cowardice. It never stopped airborne particles, but it makes a fantastic bumper sticker for your chin. Keep the windows up, keep the blinker on for the next forty miles, and please, consider turning the convoy around at the state line. Florida is full. 🚫🌴