Play dirty

HR: “Before this meeting goes any further, I want everyone to understand that this is a workplace, not a family court. We are here because of what happened yesterday.” EMPLOYEE: “Then maybe you should explain why my wife’s pregnancy has suddenly become everybody’s business.” COWORKER: “Nobody made your wife their business. You brought her into the office when you asked the entire department to sacrifice their bonuses for you.” EMPLOYEE: “Watch how you speak to me.” HR: “Enough. Let him finish.” EMPLOYEE: “My wife is seven months pregnant. Her doctor has classified the pregnancy as high-risk. I’ve been paying for appointments, medication and hospital bills. I approached management privately and requested a $6,000 salary advance. I wasn’t asking for charity. I was asking for money I would work to repay.” HR: “And management offered you a repayment arrangement.” EMPLOYEE: “Which would take almost half my monthly salary. I have a mortgage, bills and a pregnant woman at home. How exactly am I supposed to survive?” COWORKER: “But you had enough money to book a vacation last month?” EMPLOYEE: “That vacation was booked before we received the medical report.” COWORKER: “And you didn’t cancel it.” EMPLOYEE: “Because the money was non-refundable!” HR: “This is precisely why I called this meeting. You also sent an email to the department yesterday accusing management of discriminating against employees with pregnant wives.” EMPLOYEE: “Because that’s exactly what you’re doing!”