š queer sx-positive polyamory advice + memes šš»āāļø k!nky sx educator + trainee therapist š¤ non-monog since 2016
United Kingdom
Joined November 2020
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The problem with casual dating isnāt mixed signals, itās that people have different definitions of what counts as casual. Sex is pretty intimate, so sometimes things can get a bit confusing. But it's okay to set boundaries on what behaviors are and aren't allowed in your dynamic.
We shouldn't be making assumptions about other people's intentions or assuming that just because we define something as romantic, they also think the same way.
Just because it's casual, it doesn't mean you can't negotiate.
Leanne Yau retweeted
peep how they say āother relationshipsā not just other romantic connections. your partnerās friends and family will reveal different aspects of them too and thatās so very beautiful to me
I was SHOOK when I first saw how differently my partners could behave in other relationships. The funny thing about polyamory is that sometimes it reveals things about our partners that we literally would not have seen in any other context.
If you've built a really secure long-term relationship, and then you see that your partner has all these wounds that are coming up in all of their other connectionsā¦that's okay. Different people bring out different facets of us (not necessarily good) - so it can be challenging.
I wish people would stop assuming that if someone only wants casual sex but not a relationship, that they are inherently objectifying and disrespecting you š
If you refuse to listen to someoneās explicit desires, or try and guilt trip them into something serious when theyāve repeatedly told you thatās not what they wantā¦surprise, youāre actually the problem.
If you feel guilty for dating multiple people, even when you have no reason to be, you might be experiencing monogamy hangover. This is what happens when you grow up in a mononormative society that tells you that being attracted to multiple people is wrong.
There's a huge difference between stepping outside of the comfort zone of your relationship and actively crossing boundaries and breaking agreements. You're dating multiple people openly and honestly. There is nothing to be ashamed about.
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If you feel afraid to ask for something in your relationship because you're worried about how it might affect your partner's other relationship, you might be people pleasingā¦ and hereās how polyamory can sometimes exacerbate this.
You're not inconveniencing anyone by asking for things that any partner deserves. If you make yourself small to appease other people, you are going to be highly susceptible to manipulation and being taken advantage of by your partner(s) and others in your polycule.