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I try to impress folk by saying I have a professional interest in horny theology, but I am really just an amateur word botcher.
#BBCFootball
I thought Eriksen back to Spurs was a no brainer.Allowing Conte to change to a 3-5-2 against deep lying sides as a starter, or as an impact sub when struggling against better quality teams.
Puncroaker retweeted
Please never imagine me naked.
Unless the reason you're not imagining me naked is that you don't want to imagine me naked.
Then you should.
I have a dogged determination when I'm playing 'Battleships' even if I can't remember where I have located my vessels.I never know when I am B-10.
#LunchPun
#bbcfootball
Man City starting with 2 attacking left backs, 3-4 left wingers... I think they may be targeting TAA.
Qatar v Ecuador to open the world cup... Hmmm... maybe the ESL isn't such a bad idea after all. #BBCFootball
Eating sprouting seeds probably makes him the premier comedian in this competition.
Alf alpha?
No, @RichardPulsford and his mustard and cress diet.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun and
- Accidentally sitting on an old chocolate bar, I sadly stained my tanga underwear.
- Mar a thong?
-Not that old, it was me Snickers.
#LunchPun #ratemypun
- One of my fondest childhood memories is seeing a 1960's ventriloquist and her puppet in a rainy southern English market town.
- Showery Lewes?
- Yes, with her Pork Chop in a soggy Sandwich.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
Donald Trump has been accused of watching eczema,psoriasis,and dermatitis porn. The former President's response was "FLAKE NUDES".
Puncroaker retweeted
Swiss Pronouns be like: 'Yodel they/he/who'
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
Puncroaker retweeted
Replying to @home_halfway
As a child, before corporal punishment was banned, I was frequently told "I'll tan your hide". I refused to accept this, I would not be suede.
#LunchPun #RateMyPun
- Pretty gross, but I discovered some itchy little scabs on my balls, which told me my foot infection has spread to my groin, whilst having my breakfast cereal this morning.
- Oh, what did you have?
- Crunchy nut cornflakes.
Puncroaker retweeted
Freind [mumbling] - I want to post a topless pic on IG, but I'm scared of their prudish censorship.
Me - Pardon?
Her [still mumbling] - If I don't pixellate my nipples they'll ban me.
Me - What?
Her [still too quietly] - What should I ..
Me - For heaven's sake just blurt it out.










