Professional mathematician. Amateur epigrammatist. 1/n of @mockeree
- Tweets22.1K
- Following365
- Followers5.3K
- Likes559
ALT Picture 1/4. Various members of last week’s cabinet gathered sheepishly in the ‘Apprentice’ boardroom. Suella Braverman, Kwasi Kwarteng, Liz Truss and Thérèse Coffey are all seated behind the big table, while Jacob Rees-Mogg and James Cleverly stand solemnly behind them. Braverman and Kwarteng are giving Truss the side-eye. Coffey looks like she might be about to burst into tears. Cleverly’s hands are clasped in front of him; Mogg’s are clasped behind his back. Truss looks impassive, like a dog that doesn’t know why it’s been brought to the vet. Subtitles tell us what Alan Sugar is saying: “Your performance in this task was diabolical. It was a complete bloody shambles.”
ALT Picture 2/4. Close-up of Alan Sugar’s grizzly scowl as he makes one of his razor-sharp scathing puns. “Talk about a budget - this was more like a bodge-it.”
ALT Picture 3/4. Sugar’s pointing finger of rejection. “You’re fired.”
ALT Picture 4/4. Kwasi Kwarteng in the back seat of the ‘Apprentice’ taxi. “No, I don’t think I should’ve been fired. As PM, Liz was responsible for the failure of this task.”
