i want to be the comedian that gets verified and cancelled in the same year | advertising creative by day + amateur comedian always | all tweets are my own
Canada
Joined March 2009
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Of course as I recklessly drain phone battery while on my first Xcapade here in months , my building loses power.
I’ll be ba
Rachel J. Cogan retweeted
When Blue Jays manager John Schneider returned to his office last week, an envelope awaited him.
A letter had come from Warriors head coach Steve Kerr.
“I don’t know you,” he wrote, “but I felt compelled to reach out after watching your incredible leadership on display during the World Series.
I only go to carnivals and theme parks to get airbrush tattoos. lol
#MyLastTextSent
Before posting about geese bleach, I forgot what we called a post on here so instead finger slam texted, “Omfg I’m [the action formerly known as tweeting] this” and now accidentally rewrote The Swan Princess.
I am sick and tired of always being so accommodating to strangers.
Being nice ends today. #VillainMode
Take that Busted Bumper Dude. No longer a back out first bitch.
#VillainMode #LessNiceRachel
Casually belting Whitesnake at 10am outside with my coffee deadpan staring down my neighbour. Whispered “practicing Karaoke” and winked.
I’m for sure getting arrested.
I gave up looking for my TV remote and turned to open my container of brownies only to find the remote on its lid.
What if you were that Royal imbecile who lost your family’s ancestral signet ring in like, 1547, at some syphilis festival.
Would you say anything then or say nothing to no one then secretly replace it in hopes some hot internet science guy calls you out in the way future?