Let's talk about alcohol. Or at least the history of presidential alcohol. Well, I wanted us to talk about alcohol and women, but I need to keep FIDA off my page for now. So, here we go; JOMO KENYATTA Took lots of it. Ran a functioning economy and government. Left behind a functional state. There was a tribal Mafia running crazy stuff all over, but even looters left going concerns behind. DANIEL arap MOI Teetotaler. Never touched alcohol. Ran a destructive police state. Freedom and democracy went to the dogs. Roads became cattle tracks. Goldenberg came and set the standard for future looting. Detentions of freedom heroes. Tribal clashes and evictions started. MWAI KIBAKI Took White Cap by the barrel. Was known to love his alcohol deeply. But most of the country likes to tout him as the best. At least 1.2 million children knocked on school gates for free education when he took power. Infrastructure expanded. Economy performed. A tribal cabal almost tore the country apart in 2007, but alcohol wasn't to blame. UHURU KENYATTA Took alcohol by the gallon. Loved it like Jesus loved the church. But loved the country even more. Ran a decent economy. The nation functioned. When the foundation of the state faced an existential threat with his deputy's presidential run, he even broke with custom and backed the opposition figure feared deeply by his kinsmen. With that, he debunked both the infamous oath and broke the "original sin" of Luo-Kikuyu rivalry. Left behind a stable nation. RAILA ODINGA Pictured numerous times enjoying his Remy Martin. Loved his drink quite a bit. Yet remains the greatest freedom hero in the country's history. An icon of justice and liberty. The most consequential politician to ever walk the land. The standard bearer of national values and conscience. WILLIAM RUTO Allegedly doesn't drink. Runs a kleptocracy where forests are excised to build golf courses. Public debt is Shs 13 trillion. Payslips are squeezed by levies that aim to benefit only a few. Land grabbing is a sport. Schools capitation is in HDU while devolution is in ICU because remittances from the exchequer delay for months. Catalogue of lies and fake projects launched in the country is longer than the Kaptagat Marathon. Incompetence is a way of life. Abductions and police brutality have broken records. The way I see it, the alcohol that Ruto now focuses on so much is because a nation of hypocrisy likes things done behind dark curtains. Seeing Sifuna's Tusker Lite on the table is way too bold for hypocrites. But let's do what Barack Obama did in 2008. Them: You were not born in the USA! Obama: Focus on America, not me! Americans need healthcare. Them: You are a Muslim! Obama: We will talk about America, not me! American industries need to grow and become competitive again! Them: Your name sounds like Osama! Obama: The American financial sector is in trouble. We will talk about America, not me! Them: You have links to terrorists. Obama: We will stick to talking about America. How to expand jobs and bridge the unemployment gap. And it worked. Dear @WilliamsRuto, Sifuna is asking you to discuss Kenya, not him. Let's go back to the affordable housing matter. Have you met any Kenyan who readily wants his payslip sliced like that? Who is procuring equipment for this project? Who are the real beneficiaries? What was the distribution method? Sifuna's Tusker Lite isn't hurting our payslips. Sifuna's gin isn't stealing our forests. Sifuna's whiskey won't keep youths on the streets because of joblessness. It's the economy, stupid!