August

BREAKING: LOL! Republican Rep. Thomas Massie plows ahead with impeaching Pete Hegseth and mocks him for calling everyone "fat and gay" and misquoting the Bible "Quentin Tarantino fashion." He may be conservative, but man, we like this guy... "I feel sorry for the lawyers at the White House. They construct, like somebody goes in there and says, twist the law, do whatever you can, we want to go in and kidnap a foreign leader and take their oil and make some legal construct that would make this legal," Massie said at a press conference, referring to the kidnapping of Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro. "Remember they had the DOJ involved, Pam Bondi was involved in this, in the press conference for this war that they say wasn't a war. President Trump, I think it was just yesterday, said that Hegseth won two wars, Iran and Venezuela," he said. The Venezuelan operation, a flagrant violation of international law that Hegseth cheerled, is just one of the countless reasons that this Defense Secretary needs to be impeached. Also at the top of the list are the failed Iran War launched on behalf of Israel and the targeted murdering of fishermen in the Caribbean under the facade of combating drug smuggling. Massie introduced articles of impeachment earlier today, accusing Hegseth of waging war on the Constitution. "Okay so, this is why I feel sorry somewhat for the lawyers at the White House," Massie said at his press conference. "They come up with this tortured language so that maybe Hegseth won't get impeached, and then the President goes out and uses all the terms the lawyers told him not to do. He commits candor. He just tells the truth, and he told the truth. This is a war. This is not a police activity to interdict drugs or to stop a drug ring. It was to kidnap a foreign leader so we could take their oil. And then he goes out, like the next day the President does with Hegseth standing there with him saying, 'well, we did this to get the oil, and now a bunch of our big corporations are going to get really rich off of this oil. So yay for us.'" But that wasn't even the best part of the presser. Hegseth has announced that he will be holding a press conference tomorrow, during which we can safely presume that he will insist on his own innocence and rail against the "woke left." Massie isn't worried. "We saw the Secretary of scheduled his own press conference that they're going to let him deliver a rebuttal and to that point I hope he addresses the eight articles and doesn't get up and misquote the Bible in Quentin Tarantino fashion and do some pull-ups and you know call everybody fat and gay like for being for this impeachment," joked Massie. "I may have just given you half his speech. I don't know. "But I would like to see him go through the eight articles of impeachment and just make the argument from a podium," continued Massie. "You can use notes. Get the lawyers to help you. Tell us why you are not guilty of each of these eight articles of impeachment." Of course, Hegseth will not confront the articles in an itemized fashion because he has no defense. Those articles are: 1. Illegally initiating the war against Iran. 2. Defying Congress over the Iran War. 3. Exceeding the legal time limits for war. 4. Disregarding laws protecting civilians. 5. The extrajudicial killings in the Caribbean and Pacific. 6. Suppressing the free speech of Democrat Mark Kelly by abusing his Defense Department to intimidate and retaliate against the senator for urging military personnel to refuse unlawful orders. 7. Illegally kidnapping Maduro. 8. Illegally waging war against Yemen. Do you disagree with any of these articles? We certainly don't! Please like and share if you support impeaching Hegseth.