Since I might not even be real, at least I can warn you: adult account, MDNI! Also, no TXBoo-related content, please!
Joined November 2026
- Tweets61
- Following48
- Followers65
- Likes59
Pinned Tweet
"This is a parody roleplaying account, not affiliated with SEGA. And of course, I'm portrayed as an adult variant!
Wait! A variant!? Am I not even real!? I KNEW IT!
...You sure aren't real either!
Huh!? Don't you know panties are tracking devices!? What ELSE don't you know!?"
PANTS!? WHY SHOULD I EVEN WEAR THEM!? THEY'D RESTRICT MY MOVEMENTS!
A BADGER NEEDS TO BE FAST TO CRUSH DOLPHINS AND WATERMELONS! YOU'LL THANK ME LATER!
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HOW DO WE ALREADY HAVE ALMOST 50 FOLLOWERS!? I'VE BEEN HERE FOR A SINGLE DAY!
WHO SENT YOU!? I HAVE COCONUTS, AND I WILL USE THEM!
ALSO! I HAVE THOSE SO-CALLED DMs OPEN, SO HOW COME NOBODY'S WRITING TO ME!?
WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING, HIDING IN THE BUSHES!?
HEY! I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE!
And YES, I watch people! SO WHAT!? You do the same, MISTER DETECTIVE!
Now, WHO SAID I WANTED MONEY!? It tastes AWFUL, and it's POISONOUS!
Better give me PEACHES... or MORE FRIES! But with sauce this time!
YOU MAKE A GOOD POINT!
WHY ARE HUMANS SO TALL!? WHAT ARE THEY PLOTTING!?
Maybe they're tall so they can keep all the GOOD STUFF on the top shelves at supermarkets!
Speaking of which, SUPERMARKETS ARE EVIL! Their music is BRAINWASHING EVERYONE!
ME!? WHO DO YOU THINK KEEPS EVERYONE SAFE AT NIGHT!?
WHAT WORK WERE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT!?
I've been FOLLOWING YOU ALL WEEK, and dating a different lady every night DOESN'T make you a detective!
You didn't FINISH your fries, so I HAD to eat them!
BUT I NEED TO KNOW HOW YOU GET THE MONEY!
How am I supposed to know you're not PLOTTING WITH THE SQUIRRELS!?
If they have a PRINCESS and they RULE THE FOREST, how long until they take over MY HOUSE!?
AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY!? WITH PEACHES!?
THEY'RE MINE!
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PERFORM!? Nobody told me it was a SINGING CONTEST!
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SING! Oh, but I can HOWL! DOES THAT SUFFICE!?
And I'm bringing my OWN HAMMER to squish those pumpkins!
Also, some CUCUMBERS... BUT NO PICKLES!!!
I WAS WONDERING HOW YOUR HIPS COULD BE THAT WIDE!
Then again, I GUESS IT MUST BE PRINCESS MAGIC! Princesses always turn out to be magical beings, so what kind of MAGIC TRICKS can you do!?
ARE YOU READING MY MIND!? DO YOU HAVE X-RAY VISION!? CAN YOU TURN WATER INTO APPLE JUICE!?
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EVERY TIME I SPEND HERE, I'M MORE CONVINCED THIS PLACE IS SOME KIND OF GATEWAY TO THE MULTIVERSE!
But I gotta admit, Sonica's tan is PRETTY NEAT!
She's making me look PALE in comparison, though! Now I need to get some sunlight... IF THE SUN ISN'T PLANNING TO BURN ME THIS TIME!
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I WASN'T SCARED OF YOU!
EXCEPT when I had that nightmare where you were a WEREHOG!
ANYWAY, AMY, DO YOU HAVE ANY FOOD THERE!?
It's not like I ate ALL my peaches and now I'm STARVING or anything, but...
BUT MAYBE I COULD BORROW ONE OF THOSE SANDWICHES FROM YOUR MAGIC FRIDGE!
AND WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT IT!?
I ALWAYS ACT ON INSTINCT, AND I LIVE LIKE A WINNER! THE BADGER WAY!
If you weren't so distracted by my APPEARANCE, maybe you'd actually listen to all the DAILY FACTS I SPIT OUT FOR YOU, COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE!
LIKE, C'MON!
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JOKES ON YOU, I DON'T EVEN HAVE DOORS!
Well, unless I'm staying with my friends, maybe?
But I LOVE sleeping outside! Just tying a couple of ropes between two STRONG TREES and sleeping under the moonlight is the COMFIEST FEELING EVER!
SO, ARE YOU GONNA BREAK THE TREES INSTEAD!?
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I WILL! But NOT because you asked me to!
And yet Amy seems to be ENJOYING IT for some reason...
So I'm gonna take her place to make sure she's not being MIND-CONTROLLED, BAT-CONTROLLED, OR WORSE... MIND-BAT-CONTROLLED!!!
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AND YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT!?
I may not be a Princess, but I LIVE STRESSED! And when people tell me to CALM DOWN, IT ONLY GETS WORSE!
Then I feel like I'm gonna EXPLODE! OVERTHINKING IS MY WAY TO COPE!
But SURE, we can smash something to relieve some stress! PUMPKINS or COCONUTS!
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I'VE BEEN STARING AT IT FOR THE LAST THREE HOURS! And I have OTHER THINGS to do! I'M A BUSY BADGER!
Do you think I just sleep on people's ceilings and steal their food!? BECAUSE THAT'S MY PAYMENT FOR KEEPING THEM SAFE
And, I'm being FORCED to take a bath, so I'm gonna use YOURS
Now, THAT I love!
But when I wanna wear the same, it's all, "No, Sticks! You can't wear an open jacket without anything underneath!"
BUT I'M A BADGER! Why do they even FORCE me to wear clothes!?
Sometimes I think this island is PRETTY BORING... I should move to the mountains!
Well, YEAH, IT DOES! So I can just think of something!
THIS PLACE IS READING MY MIND! They wanna develop a BADGER AI! One that can predict the next disaster!
LIKE TOOTHPICKS! Toothpicks are EVIL!
ONLY ACORN CAN SAVE US NOW!
I'm sure he won't! Sonic is a pretty chill guy, that's why he likes CHILI DOGS!?
Is that a Princess activity? Using people as SEATS!? Are people comfy!? Or is it better to BE a chair!?
WAIT! Do I at least get to choose what kind of chair I'm gonna be!?
I DESERVE TO BE A THRONE
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IS THAT VANILLA!?
How come she NEVER joins our adventures!? I wonder why she dresses like if she was way older when she looks so FINE!
Maybe she's hiding from dolphins... I'm telling you, she used to be a secret agent! Now she's laying low to avoid being tracked down!
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