Tak_Folf.

Hey everyone, I really need to talk, and get something off of my chest, that has really been bothering me, though I may have already covered the topic before, but now this time it's more in depth. I don't expect a lot of people to read, or go as far to reply. I'm just putting this out there anyways. I thank you in advance, for taking the time to read or reply. Anyways, I've been really depressed and quite upset, that I once again have missed an opportunity, to go to a local furry event, that happens to be one of the best and successful growing furry conventions in the SoCal area, and it's now been on its 3rd year. "ASC" took place over the weekend in Ontario, which just so happens to be within local distance of me, that I could have easily driven out to. Probably an hour and a half away, and at least out of the crowded and major LA metropolitan city. So not too bad. The reasons why I didn't go, was because I didn't plan on going for one, and nor did I know that is was even happening, even after being told by some of my friends, but I eventually forgot, and just carried on with my life. I kind of don't care that much of what goes on in the SoCal furry community anymore these days, because I really have seen the changes and it's not the same. But something kept striking me to go, because when I saw and heard about my friends being there, I would have loved to see them, and even people that I have always wanted to meet. I really just want to be around people and socialize, enjoying other people's company. But I can't seem to do that nowadays, because lately I have been quite afraid to not only go to ASC, but to any furry events in SoCal overall. Why is that? Because a lot of people seem to give off that vibe, where they don't seem to care that much about me, and nor do they like me very much, so they pretty much give me the cold shoulder. I've been in this fandom for a very long time, and over the years I have been apart of it, I really got the impression, that I am not on a lot of people's good side, instead it be the bad side. A lot of people have viewed me as a negative or troubled person, and a bad influence to the fandom, because of my long history of how I've been on social media and sometimes how I was in person. I admit, that I was always venting my frustration and personal problems online, stating that I am lonely, and don't have many friends, and that I struggle of meeting and making new friends, let alone a relationship with someone. It just felt like I was being shadowed, ghosted and shunned from everyone and everything, like I was just a nobody. Even though they saw I was there, but kept their distance. A lot of people always found me to be very awkward, uninteresting, or not as fun, thought like I didn't have anything good to myself. They just didn't know me that well. I was on the spectrum, which made it kind of difficult for me to connect with other people. Also, the other problem is I've had, was where I do admit, that I got way too involved with other peoples drama, let alone created my own drama, and got involved with politics, talked about religion, and just basically stated my views on many things, that I felt were wrong. How I was about that, made a lot of people feel like I was being judgmental, hateful, discriminating, or even worse, they felt like I was being prejudice or biased, like I demonize them, or would wish bad things to happen to them. I've even been called a Nazi, Bigot, Fascist, which is really false about me. I never in my life, had an issue with who or what people are or how they look, based off their shape, appearance, race, or nationality. Even though I may not agree with many people's lifestyle choices, or views, I am not going to hold a grudge or hate them for it. But at the same time, they cannot expect or force me to like, or be involved with what they do. So a lot of people have pretty much disliked, or strongly hated me since then, and really don't want anything to do with me. Hence why, if I ever do show up at a furry event, I feel like I would just be walking into a trap and have something horribly wrong happen to me. Basically get the banned wagon, or unwelcoming committee, that I cannot be there. I mean, I'm not here to harm anyone, or do anything wrong to them. I come to events to have fun, socialize, be around others, and enjoy the things that are happening around me. I too have felt uneasy before, during and after I went to GSFC about 2 years ago. But if it had not been, for one of my good friends visiting in town and went to the con, I probably would not have gone. And of course, I had some other friends, who really encouraged me to go. So I was like, I'll just give a shot. It's been a long while since I've gone to a fur con, and I got the chance to see what GSFC was like. It seemed okay, not as big as other cons I've been too, and was kind of small, sort of like how Califur was back in the day. I wish there was more fun things to do, and had more access to places to eat out or shop around, which was kind of disappointing. And the con just felt like a giant furmeet to me. All that mattered, was that I got to see and be with some my friends, even run into old friends, that I knew for a very long time. So not bad. But none the less, I ended up being caught up in some problems after all, where I had one falling out during and after the con, which made me once again stay away from all socal furry events. Gsfc wasn't even that great anyways. So if I had shown up at ASC, it would not be a good turnout for me. Yet, I know a lot of my friends were there and they had no problems. So why is it me? Everyone, I'm really not a bad person, as to what some of you who know me or not, may think I am. Just because of what my status may show online past or present, doesn't mean that's who I am totally about. Like let it go already! These grudges and hatred many of you hold onto about me, is going to keep hurting you inside. There are more bigger things to worry about, or that seems to be worse, than what I am viewed as. Like okay, I've made many mistakes. But I've learned and grew from it, by bettering myself. So what does it solve, by trying to go back and fixing something that can't be erased? In order for things to heal, you move forward, don't repeat and improve. That's how things get better. I've learned to let go, move on and forgive. That's the best way of handling things and to create peace. But since the world is so troubling nowadays, there are people out there who are just not willing to let go, not be open, not be understanding, not be compassionate, and not be civil to things. Instead they choose hatred or violence to face things that they don't like. Basically the term gaslight or cancel out. It's a form of evil, by being having a hard and cold heart. Many people see truth, facts, or anything that is related to that, as hostile, hateful, judgmental and condemning. I mean look, I might have said some things in the past and came off too strong, blunt or harsh about some things, and people obviously took it to heart and I didn't mean that. What people view me on social media, is nothing like who I am in real life. But I've stayed in hiatus for a long time now from the furry fandom and just away from the world, because I've been afraid to go out. I don't want to live my life in fear anymore. I'm tired of feeling anxious and sensitive for the wrong reasons. I just want to go back out again, and start living my life, by interacting with people, and make some potential friends, and have fun and just socialize, like the way good things used to be before. But if I'm going to keep feeling like I'm a Target every gosh dammed day, when I try to go to a furry meetup or con, then what's the point of me going to that or anywhere at all? I'm sick of livingn my life with anxiety, concern, worry or fear of the unknown or expected. It's not fair and not right. This isn't okay for other people to act poorly like that. Anyways, that's all I had to say. Thank you.

I don't care if this is personal. I know that some people like myself, gets really tired of pleasuring themselves after a long while, wondering when do they and myself get to have a real partner? No or myself should have to go through this routine, of having no one. I really need a boyfriend.😞

You have got to be kidding me..... That's incredible!

No freaking way! I did not think that this was possible.

Never thought I would hear this from Patrick Stewart. Honestly, I kind of agree with him. I am scared too, with how things are going on in the world.

I kind of wish that my comments, posts or content would gain more attention. Not that I am saying that for the wrong reasons, where I expect or demand everyone's attention. I just wish I was recognized a bit more, that's all. I am always trying to network. At times I wonder, do I really say anything right, or wrong?

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OH MY GOSH!😭 Rest peacefully in Heave Sir Patrick Stewart. Thank you for making my childhood amazing memorable, in the X-Men movies and some of the StarTreck movies I've seen.

How many Bears/Daddy furs are single? Just wondering.🤔

I've been fighting a cold the last couple of days, so I went to the store to buy some tea, and then I see these animals playing some music on the front of the box. So cute. 🥰😁