TechieGamers

If Nvidia crashes, the entire AI economy collapses. Imagine explaining to the SEC that your $400 billion revenue forecast was based on Nvidia giving OpenAI $10 billion, which OpenAI gave Microsoft for cloud computing, which Microsoft used to buy Nvidia chips, which Nvidia used to invest in CoreWeave, which bought more Nvidia chips, which it rented back to Microsoft, which rented them to OpenAI, which paid using another $20 billion from SoftBank, which borrowed against its Nvidia shares. Six companies. $800 billion in transactions. The same $10 billion doing 80 laps around Silicon Valley. And the entire thing could collapse because Jensen Huang couldn’t keep his pants on.

Business idea: Rent fake coworkers to make your business look successful. A lot of small business owners struggle to attract clients because they work alone. For $200 a day, we’ll send three professionally dressed people to sit around your office looking busy. They’ll answer imaginary phone calls, walk around holding documents and occasionally say “We’ve got a big client meeting at 3.” Our executive package includes a fake CFO who walks into your office looking concerned about revenue. For $1,000 extra, we’ll stage a heated boardroom argument about whether to accept a fictional acquisition offer. This is basically WeWork, except the employees don’t actually exist.

Somewhere a Fortune 500 CEO is frantically asking his PR team how many people they can lay off before the Jensen Huang story dies down.

Jensen Huang built a $4 trillion AI empire only to discover the biggest security vulnerability was his penis

Masayoshi Son reportedly defaulting on gas turbine orders for AI data centres. This is the same man who gave WeWork billions because a guy walked into a room barefoot and said the word “community.” What could possibly go wrong?

Just crushed 64GB of RAM into a fine powder and sprinkled it over my pasta. Bon appétit, Sam Altman.