Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins) header
Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins) profile picture

Tim Jenkins

@Tenkins

Get the fuck off of my boat

 Lansing, MI
Joined May 2009
  • Tweets5.6K
  • Following406
  • Followers210
187Media
Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)Photo by Tim Jenkins (@Tenkins)
If I die suddenly, draw some shit on my face and tell everyone I was a rapper.
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We’re all just thinking about that strange new cat, like Lauren Boebert.
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I already have a foldable iPhone, it’s just that you can only fold it once.
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Tim Jenkins retweeted
Mindcite💥 (@Mindcite_US) profile picture
Mindcite💥@Mindcite_USAug 24
“I didn’t like George W. Bush, but at least he knew how to work a chain saw, or ride a horse or shoot a shotgun. This is a dying pedophile, with bitch tits, a pussy on his neck, who paints his face orange every day and shits in his pants.”
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Turning on my thunderstorm noisemaker app over the sound of the actual thunderstorm is the whitest thing I’ve ever done.
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Spirit is gone??? Oh well, I got ValuJet Futures from ‘96, bitches!!!
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Some of you act like you’ve never mummified your erect penis with a Fruit by The Foot.
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I hate it when my balls stick to the side of the peanut butter jar.
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It’s always been on my bucket list to get busted doing fake sign language during a press conference.
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Nail a wig to a ham and vote for it and then tell everyone it’s your president.
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Fun Fact: @AGPamBondi could indict Andrew Sweatyballs Windbag right now too, but chooses not to.
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What the fuck is Connecticut???
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Stoned masturbation is weed-whacking.
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Every New Year’s Eve, I go through the experience of slowly transitioning from Gump enthusiasm into Lieutenant Dan’s angry hooker toss.
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She said she wanted to see how hard it is, so I sent a bunch of pictures of the Lego instructions.
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My day is mostly just a journey of places I’m allowed to put my underwear
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Know why @realDonaldTrump missed the Halloween party? Because, he was-a gobblin’ cock!!!
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Seems like Trump had plenty of ball-room already in his mouth.
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Who would have ever thought the surprise ending of this film would again involve Bill Clinton getting his dick sucked?
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Of course I can pass a drug test!!! I’m high, not stupid…
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Gaining an hour makes me crazy. I don’t have time for it! I got enough problems with the time I have!!!
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